What Happens When You Get What You Want...

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live".

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Each week, I never know what I am going to write about. I wait for the message to show up, through a conversation I had with a friend, an experience I saw first-hand or some other form of inspiration that shows up on my doorstep. If there is ever a week that goes by that I don't post something, it is because I didn't feel any special message I felt authentic about sharing. I won't write just to write - I have to feel like there is something I am inspired to let the world know about and hope that there is someone, somewhere, that needed those words at that very moment.

This week, my message comes from the most unsuspecting conversation. I had my high school reunion this week and a group of us met on Sunday (most were still sleeping off the previous two days of reunion celebrating) and played a round of golf. The group had great chemistry, and seemed to laugh more than play.

Throughout the day, we would all swap carts so we could talk to those who we hadn't spent time with yet. Each time we did, I seemed to learn something interesting or inspiring from each person. One person helped me improve my golf game and talked about a new project he is taking on through his business; one talked about 'how to know when you are in the right relationship'; one talked of a recent heart break but a positive mindset; another talked about his time in the middle east fighting for our country; another talked about her goals for 2009. I felt like the theme 'everyone has a story' rang true. Every single person had an interesting story to tell. When I got to the next cartmate, I simply said, 'so tell me about you'. His response is what I choose to write about today.

He started off by saying he had to loose everything, to get what he wanted. Puzzled, I asked him to explain. He mentioned that he used to have a great job, great life, everything was.... great... but he really wanted to meet the right girl. He prayed and asked for God to bring her into his life. Ironically, God did. My friend met the most amazing girl whom he fell in love with immediately. His prayer had been answered.

While one prayer was answered, the other areas of his life that had been so great, crumbled slightly. He lost his job, he moved in with his dad to help him for a while... life as he knew it changed dramatically. I paused and then reacted by telling him how sorry I was to hear this.

But, his response was what left me in awe.

He said, 'don't be sorry, my prayer was answered. I got what I wanted. I asked for God to bring me the love of my life and He has. This other stuff is just stuff. I am rebuilding my life now and slowly but surely, all of the pieces are coming together. But most importantly, I got what I asked for... The rest will just fall in place.'

I was so inspired by his attitude. He knew exactly what he wanted and despite losing other things in his life, he was grateful that God had answered his prayer and he knew it would all work out. He had his priorities in order, he trusted himself and he knew he would be ok. He focused on what he had in his life vs. what he didn't have...

How many times have we had a wonderful opportunity to seize, but we spend so much time staring at what we wish we had or what we lost, that we miss out on what is right in front of us? I've had this trip me up many times.

You have to know what you want, what you are ok with not having and trust yourself that knowing these things will get you through the good and tough times.

I challenge you this week, to focus on what you want, understand what you can live without, and then trust yourself to move forward with these priorities. There are few times in life when all pins line up in a row for us, but if we can be clear on the ones that matter the most , we will know how to stay grateful and positive, even when going through a difficult time.

And my friend... he's getting ready to move to Europe to be with the love of his life. Not too bad of an outcome, I'd say.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Just be ready for it when it comes!

Following Your Path

"True teachers use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own."-Nikos Kazantzakis

Sometimes I find myself asking, 'how do I know what the 'right' next step is in my life? How do I know which decision to make?'

Many people, whom I think make very good decisions in their lives, use their 'heart' as their brain. They base their next steps on instinct and feeling. Conversely, I also know a lot of people who make successful decisions on the other end of the spectrum - they scientifically analyze data and details and make decisions based on logic.

I don't believe there is one better way to make a decision - each of us have our own ways of finding what's right for ourselves. I do think, however, that there are a few things that each of us can do in order to feel confident and clear on the decisions that we need to make in order to keep ourselves 'on course'.

1.) Find Your Authentic Path

Make decisions in your life based on being you. If you notice that someone you respect tends to make decisions based on x,y or z, do not feel you need to do those same things. Some times I look at my colleagues and successful fitness role models and I see what they did to get where they are and I wonder if I should be doing 'that' too. I've tried to follow the path of others to create my own, and in my experience - that just doesn't work. You must find your own path, designed by your authentic self. Sure, you can pick up bits and pieces from the leadership and decision-making patterns of others who 'have arrived', but you must not let go of your own spirit and way. You are perfect in your own sense and when you are authentically you - you create the path you were meant to walk down. Soon, you'll find others want to know your secret and will try to walk your path too. They will learn, too, that they need to develop their own authentic path. (see #3)

2.) Find A Teacher

One of the most powerful opportunities we have in our lives is to develop relationships. While we must be authentic in our own decisions, we all need a little guidance and support. There will be times we fall, fail, misstep, can't hear our own inner voice or are afraid of what that inner voice is telling us. I believe we all have 1-2 teachers in our lives that 'show us the way'. These are people who we have found an undefinable connection with that aren't afraid to show us 'their secrets to success' and help us to come into our own. These are powerful, life-changing teachers who help us to embrace our authentic selves and make the most of every blessing in our lives. While this 'teacher' is an incredible gift in our lives, some of us are afraid to find our own teacher. We are stubborn, think we can do it on our own, or again, afraid of what that teacher may show us. If that is you, I especially challenge you to break out of that wave of thought and be open to allowing your teacher to come into your life. When we are open to receiving, the teacher appears.

3.) Be A Teacher

Just as we seek our teacher for guidance and support, we also have the gift to be the same for someone else. Just as you are open to receiving your teacher and his/her words, know that someone is seeking the same from you. When you notice someone coming to you who has the same dreams and passion, be open to being a teacher for that person. It just may be one of the most rewarding decisions you make... and, don't be afraid to share, 'your secrets'. Remember, we must all find our own path - so even if you show someone else how you 'did it', they must take your way as a lesson, but carve out their own. You never know - you may learn more from your student than you ever imagined.

I challenge you (and me!) this week, to be clear on who your authentic self is. What is ok and not ok in your life? What do you truly believe and want? What makes you authentically different from the crowd? (Celebrate that!) What makes you come fully alive?

Then, spend some time thinking about the 'teacher' who you have in your life and how much of an impact he/she has made in your world. Are you letting him/her in as much as you can? He/she is there in your life for a reason. Let your teacher be a guide for you.

Finally, consider if you are currently serving in the role as 'teacher' to someone else. If not - can you be? Is there someone waiting in the wings for your outreached hand?

And, after all of this thought - I challenge you to 'be open' to seeing your authentic self(and loving it!), letting your teacher in, and being that teacher to someone else. And then, enjoy the journey. You're right on track.

"A great teacher never strives to explain her vision; she simply invites you to stand beside her and see for yourself."-The Rev. R. Inman

*This blog was inspired by a recent conversation I had with an amazing friend of mine, during a night of stories and observations.

How To Never Fail

Would you like the secret to never failing? What if you could learn how to never make a mistake, never take the wrong turn, never say the wrong thing? If there was a way you could guarantee to always have a smooth and easy path, would you want to know?

Well, then I have the answers for you. There are two ways to achieve the above. You may chose one, or the other.

1.) In the words of one of my fitness industry friends & mentor, Kimberly Spreen, 'Do Nothing'. That's right. 'Do Nothing'. In order to never make a mistake, say a wrong word, or turn the wrong way, you must simply never speak, act or do anything. How can you possibly make a mistake if you aren't doing anything? Ok, ok - the point is that there is no way we can ever live where we don't occasionally say something we wish we wouldn't have, or turn right when the directions said straight. These things are just a part of our journey and how we learn.

2.) The true way we can make sure we are always confident with how we speak, act and live is to change how we view the situation. Instead of seeing it as a mistake or failure, see it as a stepping stone to greater understanding of yourself, your journey and your life. Here are some examples of people who thought they were off course at the time, and then realized there was a greater reason why:

• Consider the people who were running late for work at the World Trade Center on 9/11.
• Think about the person who developed the 'Post It'. He discovered the concept after trying to make a new form of glue. The glue didn't work, but the post-it note has now made him a millionaire.
• Imagine 'finding love' when panicking over turning the 'wrong way'. A friend of mine got lost and was late for an appointment and had to stop to ask for directions when she met the man who became her husband.

I've heard leaders say time and again, 'My greatest mistake turned into my greatest success'. Instead of seeing your mistakes, missteps and rough times as failures, I challenge you this week to choose to see them as windows to new adventures, learnings and experiences. Keep your mindset positive and open. Try not to be stuck on what you thought you wanted to do, be or say, but be open to what comes into your life.

'The Last Lecture' author, Randy Pausch, said in his speech, 'Experience is what we get when we don't get what we want.' That experience is typically more valuable than what we had hoped for in our original quest.

'There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be Patient.' -Sri Swami Satchidananda

Here's to your road ahead - may it be positively bumpy, may it have turns you didn't expect and may you end up at a castle far greater than you ever dreamed of...

If Today Was Your Last Day

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

Would you call old friends you never see?

Reminisce of memories

Would you forgive your enemies?

Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you finally fall in love

If today was your last day -Nickelback

If you found out that today was your last day, what would you do? The lyrics above ask some intringuing questions. The intrigue doesn't come from acting on those notions, but on the fact that it takes something as dramatic as thinking that today is your last day on earth to conjure up the ability, desire and/or confidence to live life to the fullest.

Why don't we do these things, with the hope that tomorrow isn't our last day? What if we did all of these things today?

• Could you let go of your past? Can you move forward in your life and not look back?
• Could you give away more than you keep; would you help someone else in need just because...
• Would you get back in touch with someone you've been meaning to call and talk for hours about the times you had together, laughing and then wondering how you ever lost touch?
• Would you go out on a limb and be open to meeting the right person that actually could bring you happiness in your life?
• Would you allow yourself to fall madly in love without hesitation, reservation or referring back to the past to predict how you choose to act/feel?

Imagine if you even did half of those things tomorrow... what an amazing day it would be! Do you realize you have this ability? You can make your day come alive! Don't wait for dramatic news to inspire to live out the things in your life that are important. Today is all we are certain of - right here, right now. You have this one moment, and that is the only thing we know for sure. Who knows what the moment next will bring.

So, take this moment, and go do something incredible with it.

Let go of the past. Forgive yourself. Set a new goal. Reach out to an old friend. Inspire a stranger. Give to someone unexpectedly. Open your heart to love. Love fearlessly. Love fully. Love as if you can't be hurt or rejected. Love someone. Love yourself. Love your life. Accept your life. Live your life as if this is your one chance to get it right.

Now go on, this one moment is all we have - go live it to it's fullest.

Love, Hope and Try - The Great Risks!

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Author Unknown

Do you go after what you really want? Do you admit how you truly feel? To you put yourself out there, at the possibility of falling flat? If you answered no to any of these, I challenge you this week, to come alive, and decide what it is that you really want.

Have you ever chosen not to love someone because you thought they wouldn't love you back? Have you ever been afraid to fall in love because you knew it might hurt too much when it didn't work out? If you haven't, well then you don't know all the facets of love. Love is not conditional on a two way street. Love comes from liking that person, from the inside out -without the expectation that they will feel the same way. Of course, when it is reciprocated, well, then - you have found that thing we all seek. But, if it isn't returned, 'Love is never lost if not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.' Love is one of those things that doesn't disappear, it just may come back to you in a different form than you thought. Be open to seeing it in a different shape or form than you pictured it.

Do you hope for things that seem a little 'daydreamer-ish?' Or, does that idea sound foolish? Does the idea of being disappointed by your dream not coming true keep you from having it in the first place? If so, I challenge you to get out there and dream, and dream big. 'If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll land amongst the stars.'

And finally, do you try for something, knowing it could fail, or do you stay safe and not leave your comfort zone? Always doing what you always did will always get you what you always got. The only way you will see more out of yourself, life and others is to put yourself out there and try. When you fail, fail big and get right back up and go again. Life is not a series of steady, easy, smooth decisions that create an even-keeled life. Life is about getting out there and loving as if you can't be hurt, dreaming as if there are no boundaries to your success and trying as if you couldn't fail.

Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!

Let Luck Find You

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

-Coach Darrel Royal

Do you know someone who seems to have luck on their side? They seem to always have the best opportunities, the most unique circumstances, the most incredible outcomes? They seem to be in the right place, at the right time? And, they seem to find the needle in the haystack - the diamond in the rough -they see the things in life that most of us somehow miss.

So, what is this 'lucky charm' they seem to possess, and how do we get one?

While I don't have all the answers (and have my fair share of various forms of luck!), I think finding your own 'lucky charm' is simpler than you think. I promise each one of you reading this that you can increase your luck, no matter where you are in your life, what circumstance you are facing, or what decision(s) you have at your hands, just by adopting two simple principles in your life.

I am a strong believer in the idea of 'like attracting like'. When you focus on the happy things in your life, express gratitude for the opportunities you have (no matter how big or small), and find the joy in each day, you throw a signal out in the world of positivity. When you 'throw this signal' people can't help but be attracted to it and it tends to manifest more opportunities, joy and passion. Pretty soon, it looks like you are just an extremely lucky person, and, that may be a part of it, but you have enabled the 'luck' to find you as well.

In addition, being at the right place isn't enough for luck to occur. If you were waiting to meet the love of your life, and he/she walked past you, would you know what to do? If you were hoping for a promotion and your boss called you into the office tomorrow morning to ask for a business case on why you should be promoted, would you know how to respond? Luck tends to find those who have prepared for the opportunity to present itself.

So, I challenge you to make friends with luck this week. To do this, follow two simple steps.

1.) Throw the signal of joy and gratitude out to the world. Focus on the things that make you fabulous. Embrace each day and look forward to each opportunity. See the glass half full. Do somethat makes someone else smile. Live with energy. I promise you, you'll manifest your luck.

2.) Prepare for what you really want. If you want to meet the person of your dreams, understand how you would react if you really met them. If you want that dream job, decide what you would do in the interview for it. When you prepare for what you want, you'll know what to do when it comes around. Don't miss the opportunity because you didn't recognize it. (Some people suggest creating a 'vision board' that takes what you want and crystallizes it by cutting out images an putting them on paper so you know exactly what you want). Decide what you really want and what you will do with it when you get it. I promise you, when it comes, you will know just how to get it.

Shout from the mountain tops about your present joy - give off that glow; prepare for the opportunities you want to come; celebrate the luck that will follow.

Look For the Lightning to Strike

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. You never know when lightning may strike. ~William Parrish (from the movie, 'Meet Joe Black').

Love. The most interesting of all topics in the world. It can cause the greatest joy - the deepest pain. It speaks many languages, looks and feels different to each person, and causes incredible confusion, and yet is the most amazing feeling that exists.

Recently, a dear friend of mine told me to watch the movie, 'Meet Joe Black' (she even bought me a copy to ensure I would watch it). I usually don't spend a lot of time watching movies by myself, but for some reason, I was drawn to have a night in, by myself, to view this recommended film.

Within 20 minutes of the movie, I knew I loved it. The quotation above was uttered from a doting father who was trying to counsel his beloved daughter on making sure she married the right man. At the time, she was in a relationship with a man who seemed 'perfect on paper' but didn't bring much excitement, joy or passion to her heart. Her dad told her to 'be open' and look for the 'lightning to strike'.

So many times, we fall into love with the comfortable, verses the passion and joy. I challenge you to keep your heart open to find the passion and joy that only love can bring you. If you have felt it, you know there is no feeling like it in the world. There is nothing better. There is nothing that you can't handle when with the partner that you love with all of your heart. After all, that's why the heart was created. To love. (supplying bloodflow circulation/oxidation is secondary!) Your heart was created to love with every ounce of your being. So why would you be ok with anything but that?

In addition, the movie depicted the idea that true love comes when the other person knows everything about you and loves you just the same... moreover, when you trust someone enough to tell them your deepest secret and trust they won't run away after hearing it.

Sure, this kind of love is hard to find. But I know it is out there.

So how do you find it? I wish I knew the black and white answer. But I can tell you this... Believe that you deserve to be loved by someone with all of their heart, and that you could love someone that much...

and then be open... and look for the lightning to strike.

Live Your Life On Purpose

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ... 'Wow! What a ride!'"

I believe that children are smarter than adults in many ways. They understand what it means to live their lives on purpose... They believe in the power of the impossible. They don't take no for an answer. They find joy in simple things. They laugh a lot. They don't mind being silly. They take chances because they don't understand the concept of failure. They know what makes them happy and they spend most of their time focusing on those things. Everything they do - they do, on purpose - to be happy.

As we get older, we rationalize and define the concept of 'impossible' things. When told no, we walk away. We over-analyze situations to try to find happiness vs. looking right in front of us. We tend to spend a lot of time just being 'status quo'. We look around to see who's watching before we allow ourselves to be silly. We don't take chances because we fear failure. We have no idea what makes us happy and spend a lot of time chasing the wrong concepts. Instead of living each day on purpose, many of us find ways to live each day, just going with the flow.

Many of us get caught up in living to make money. We think when we are richer, we will be happier. While I confess that financial abundance is a goal of mine, I also know it will not bring me happiness on it's own. Some of the poorest people have the greatest joys in life, while some of the wealthiest are the poorest in spirit.

Take for example, a study that was done and written about by Whitley Strieber in 'Money Really doesn't Buy Happiness'. On a scale of 1-7 where 1 means 'not at all satisfied with my life' and 7 means 'completely satisfied', the Forbes 400 richest Americans average a 5.8. This is the exact same average as the cattle-herding Masai people of Kenya, who live in dung huts without electricity or running water.

For your weekly challenge, I dare you to embrace the concept of living your life intentionally. Decide one thing you want to have happen this week and make sure prior to the week's end, that you made it happen. Chose to spend more time with your friends. Chose to take a risk that scares you once a day. Laugh by yourself. Chose to understand what will make you happy, and go for it. Forget the words impossible or failure. Live out loud. Live Your Life On Purpose.

The Reasons People Come & Go

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. - Anonymous

Have you ever met someone who made such an impact that when they exited your life, you felt a painful loss? Have you found yourself saying, 'Maybe it would have been better not to know them at all - it hurts too much to loose them now?'

I can think of several people that have come into my life and profoundly changed it for the better, and then disappeared as quickly as they came. Selfishly, I've found myself saddened and thinking about how much I wished they could stay longer. The disappearance didn't make sense. Why would something so wonderful have to come to an end? Why do some of the best things seem to only have a season? I don't know all the answers, but I do believe people come into your life with several different intentions.

One, is for a Reason. Perhaps you are at a point in your life that needs that person's experience, love, or energy to help you through it. I remember coming out of a tough relationship and not being sure what I felt about anything. Someone came into my life at that point and reminded me about who I was, what I wanted in my life, and who I wanted in my life. Since that point - they have disappeared from my day-to-day living, but what they did for me was unforgettable. I am forever grateful that they came into my life when they did. The only way I know how to repay them is to not loose sight of the gifts they brought to my life and perhaps - pay forward those gifts to someone else who is in need, as I was...

Others come into your life for a Season. Our lives all change course at points and times. I can think of my friends from high school, college, and now... some are the same - but some of us have gone in different directions and have drifted apart. That doesn't make the memories of what we shared together any less significant. I think back to the girls I lived with in college. All of us were full of hope for our lives, excited to 'meet the right guy', 'figure out what we wanted to do in life' and most importantly 'wanted to enjoy being young and free'. Now, many of those friends are now married, with kids, living in different states/countries, living very different lives. But the memories of that 'season' will forever linger in my heart.

And finally - a Lifetime. If we are lucky enough to meet a few people that spend a lifetime with us, we are truly blessed. These are the people that know us inside and out and still love us. At our best - at our worst, they would stand by us in our greatest celebrations and most difficult moments. A lifetime friend is a special person that we don't know why we are so blessed to have them, but we know we couldn't get through life without them by our side. I believe you know almost immediately when you meet a lifetime friend. There is a certain connection you make - perhaps with your soul, your energy, your heart - it is an undefinable, unexplainable friendship that can only be understood as a gift in your life.

For this week's challenge. I ask you to consider the following: We all have lost people in our lives that we wished had stayed 'a season longer'. Instead of focusing on 'why they left' - I challenge you to focus on, 'why they came' . I think you will find that you have been touched by people who were there for a reason and because of them - your life is better. When you are touched by those who were there for a season, you can look back at a point in life and smile at the memory. And, those lifetime friends. They help us stay focused on what our life journey is all about... the best is yet to come!

Reason, Season or Lifetime. All gifts. All purposeful. Your life is better because of each of them. Let go of the past and focus on the current season and enjoy every second of it. And make sure you tell your 'reason' friends just what they've done for you. I think I'll be making a phone call tomorrow.

Inside-Out Challenge

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful. -Scott Westerfeld

'Chris'

I walked into the hospital room to visit 'Chris'. He was a younger boy that I had mentored, and had fallen ill with a terminal disease. When I first met him, he was a physically striking young man -the heartthrob of all the high school girls. He lit up the room with his personality. I had been told to prepare myself because I wouldn't recognize him. The disease had caused him to loose limbs, swell with 85 lbs of water weight, break out in a horrible rash, and loose his hair. I walked into the room, expecting the worse.

I want you to take a moment here to consider what you think you would feel?

I expected to feel sorry for him and be sad. But, he made that almost impossible. As soon as I walked in, Chris' smile lit up the room. He cracked a joke, and gave me a hug. I spent about an hour with him that day and I remember forgetting all about those physical conditions. It was just him... just me - hanging out, cracking jokes and telling stories...just like always. And, when I asked him how he was 'handling everything' - he looked at me for a minute as if he wasn't sure what I meant. I then said, 'I know you wanted to be a professional athlete', and he didn't miss a beat and simply replied, 'Oh yeah, I will just play for a paraplegic team'. And made a bat swing in the air and smiled.

Chris' ability to see his inner beauty taught me more than he will probably ever know. How many times have I lost confidence in myself due to something completely unimportant? And, more significantly, how many times have I missed out on knowing someone fabulous (like Chris) because of some external stereotype or ignorance?

'Kurtis and Brenda'

Then there's Kurtis and Brenda... Kurtis(22) was a younger stock boy at the grocery store, Brenda was a cashier(26). Kurtis asked Brenda out on a date and she kept telling him no, 'it would be impossible'. Kurtis persisted and she finally let him know she had two kids and couldn't afford a babysitter. He offered to pay for the sitter.

The night he showed up, she said she couldn't go, the sitter had cancelled. Kurtis suggested they take the kids to dinner with them. Brenda let Kurtis in to show him that she had a daughter and a younger son. The younger son was in a wheelchair. Brenda assumed he would leave at that point, but Kurtis saw no issue. They went to dinner and had a wonderful time. Kurtis took great care of her son, and even picked him up and carried him when he had to go to the bathroom. Kurtis and Brenda continued to date and eventually got married. They are now Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner. (Kurt Warner was the QB for the Arizona Cardinals and took them to the Superbowl and won the NFL's MVP twice).

Kurt's ability to see inner beauty brought him what he now considers his greatest joy. He has mentioned many times in his press conferences that his family far outweighs any Superbowl win, ring or game.

I challenge you this week to make an effort to get to know someone you normally wouldn't; sit and listen to someone's story you haven't given a chance before. Try seeing someone from the inside-out.

You never know - maybe you'll meet someone who will change your life in ways you can't even imagine...

People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. -Salma Hayek

My Message is My Life

My message is my life. - Mahatma Gandhi

This weekend I talked with a friend of mine who wanted to discuss how we know what our purpose in life is... it is always an interesting question to consider. I am not one to claim to have the answer, but I do have a few ideas.

So often, we spend time focusing on what huge impact we can have - some enormous purpose to existing. But I ask you to pause for a moment and then name the last 5 Nobel Peace Prize winners. Or perhaps, 5 Senators from your state or the current top 10 Best Selling Novelists.

Perhaps you can, but more likely, you cannot.

Now I ask you to name your 5 favorite teachers, your 5 greatest friends and your 5 strongest role models. The point to this little exercise is to prove that people don't remember those who won a fancy award or prize, they remember the people who were there for them, touched their hearts and influenced their life for the better.

So that is our purpose. To learn from our lessons to help others have a lighter road, to be open to new experiences, to find passion in the things we love and to love as if there was no such thing as being hurt.

When we start to feel off-track in life, that is just our heart taking the steering wheel and telling us to head in a different direction. It is important to pay attention to these times (and we all have them, so don't worry), because they can be the wind in our sails that drive us right to discovering 'our purpose'. When we are following our hearts, finding our simple joys, being there for others - then we have found our purpose. It's not a moment. It's not a major award. It is how we choose to live in each moment.

My message is my life.. Such a fabulous way to say - everything I do, every day of my life, is what I leave behind. So make sure you leave behind exactly what you want to. You have the ability to leave an imprint on this world anyway you want. What will your imprint be?

Do It Anyway

This week's blog is inspired from a sign that hung on a wall in Mother Teresa's office. (see end of blog)

It is easy to let life get us down. When we get hurt by others, we tend to trust less. When we give all we have and 'fail' anyways, we learn not to try so hard. When we go out of our way to help someone, and they end up being ungrateful, we back down from being so generous. When we spend our lives building our homes, our banks, and our sense of being and then a tragedy takes them all away - we feel helpless and broken - afraid to start over again. When we put our hearts 'out there' and they get broken, they become numb and choose to not let themselves be as vulnerable next time.

But - we have two choices each moment. Whenever something comes into our lives we didn't want, expect or ask for - we can choose to let it get the best of us or we can chose to overcome it and let it bring out the best in us. Letting it get the best of us kills our spirit, while letting it bring out the best in us awakens our spirit and allows us to be more fully alive. How powerful would it be to fail, and fail magnificently at that, and yet, smile, and keep moving forward, as if it was just a bump in the road? In other words, if you fall (and we all do!), fall forwards.

I challenge you this week, and each one following - in those times when life is throwing you a curveball, when you feel broken, when you have been hurt, when you have 'failed' - GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY. In doing that - you will overcome the 'stuff' that has weighed you down in the past and you will rise above that 'stuff' to live the life you were meant to live.


Do It Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered,

LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,

DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are successful, you win false friends and
true enemies,

SUCCEED ANYWAY

The good you do will be forgotten
tomorrow,

DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,

BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight,

BUILD ANYWAY

People really need help but may attack you if you help them,

HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth,

GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY.

Two Questions To Ask

If you've seen 'The Bucket List', you know that it's about two men who have been told they have limited time on earth. They decide to create a list of experiences to complete prior to 'kicking the bucket'. Appropriately, they name this list, 'The Bucket List'.

The men travel to the far ends of the earth, experiencing the finest restaurants, the most beautiful views, racing fancy cars, skydiving... and then they find themselves overlooking the Egyptian Pyramids, discussing life. In their discussion, one of the characters says that 'The Pharaohs believed that in order to enter heaven, a person must affirmatively answer two questions: “Did you find joy in your life?” and “Did your life bring joy to others?”' The two sat in contemplation of those two questions.

I was quite inspired by those two questions. Both of equal importance.

Have you found joy in your life? We spend so much time staring at the door that is closed in our lives that we don't see the ten doors open to us. A wise man, Mr. Larry Larson, recently shared with me, 'you can't miss what you don't have'. But yet, we tend to focus so much of our energy on what we wish we had, who we wish we were and where we hope our lives head. Instead of missing what you don't have, can you find the joy in your own life? Can you be filled with happiness for no apparent reason? Can you wake up and thank your God for a new chance to make the world a better place? Can you find the joy in who you are, right here, right now.

Secondly, did your life bring others joy? Did you do something just for the purpose of making someone smile today? Did you go out of your way to make sure someone else felt special? Have you gone out of your comfort zone, just to pick someone's spirit up? Did you make someone laugh?

I think regardless of your faith, your focus or your goals, these questions are a simple way to pull us back on track in our lives when we are not sure if we are on the right path.

One of the last experiences fulfilled on 'The Bucket List' was to 'laugh until you cry'.

I wish you tears of joy this week as you set forth on living each day fully. If we live each day without expectation of another, we truly would live without regret, would be unafraid to take chances, and wouldn't have to wait for a dramatic experience to see the wonders of the world.

Here's to your journey, and finding the joy.