Bounce Like The Pros

Have you ever had anyone say something to you that bothered you so much, you let it ruin the rest of your day? Or maybe even the rest of your week? Perhaps your boss told you that your work wasn't up to par, or your significant other told you that they didn't like something you did?

Have you ever failed (and failed big) at something and then never bothered to try it again, simply because the threat of failing again wasn't worth the risk?

Have you ever 'put yourself out there' and decided to tell someone how you feel about them - only to have their response be less than you had hoped for - so you ran away - never to put yourself out there again?

If you have answered 'yes' to any of these things, then I congratulate you - on being a normal human being. I also have a challenge for you to consider.

When I look at successful people - one of the greatest underlying qualities that they possess is the person's ability to keep moving forward, despite the pitfalls in their way. A few well-known examples include: Colonol Sanders & Michael Jordan. Did you know the Colonel was turned down exactly 1000 times prior to being financially backed for Kentucky Fried Chicken? And, did you realize Michael was cut from his high school freshman basketball team? Despite their pitfalls, they overcame the past and moved forward into their amazing future.

Another great example of this is in the game of golf. I am intrigued by this game because of its inconsistency. What I mean by this is that the game of golf doesn't hand you the same outline on any given day - golf throws a new hurdle at the player each time he/she steps on the course. The world's best players, and I mean BEST players, can play a 4 under on a course one day and the very next day, shoot 7 over on that same course. It isn't that their skillset is any less amazing than the day before... It is a part of the game. There are a million and one variables in golf - the wind, the temperature, the grass, the dew, the club choice, the sun, how a golfer feels that day, their mental focus, their level of fatigue, etc. All play roles in the outcome of a day on the course. Some weeks the pros do well, others, they get cut. When a player gets cut on day 2 of a tournament, how do they return back to the line up the next week, ready to finish on top of the leaderboard? Or, on one hole, a player may birdie it (complete the hole in 1 less shot than expected), and then next, double bogey (complete the hole in 2 shots more than expected). How does he/she keep from letting that 'bad shot' ruin the rest of their game?

It takes incredible skill to be able to let go of that bad shot and set up for the next good shot. But, that is what separates the good from the great. Have you ever watched Tiger Woods after he has a bad shot? Very rarely will he have two in a row. He doesn't dwell on the shot he missed, he focuses on the shot he is about to take. Have you ever seen Paul Casey or Camilo Villegas play? Paul stays calm no matter what his last shot looked like - he focuses on where he is right now and what he needs to do. He appears in a 'zone' and is not distracted. And Camilo... no matter what the last hole looked like for him- when he approaches the next one, he looks at every possibility on the field, his mind runs a million miles a minute. He gets low to the ground, he looks high up at the trees. He looks way down to the end of the hole, almost as if he is imagining the pathway the ball will take... He takes in everything around him and focuses on being his best at that moment.

I am not sure of their secret to letting go of a 'bad shot' and focusing in on the shot at hand, but I do know it is how they have learned to be so successful at their sport. (amongst just being really good at golf as well!) (and trust me when I say I don't know their secret - when I am out on the golf course, I try to have that "Tiger Woods'" focus, but I turn into Happy Gilmore halfway through the course).

So I challenge you this week to let go of a 'bad shot' you have had, at work, with a significant other, with a goal you fell short on, and seize up your next opportunity, taking in all that is around you. Decide how you will play that next opportunity. Bounce back.

We tend to place rocks in our way in the form of past failures, fear and the choice to hold onto something that we don't need anymore. We hold onto our mistakes and allow ourselves to focus on the fear that comes with them. As Russell Simmons explains in his book, 'Do You', 'if you want to make a commitment to never quitting, one of the first steps is to simply get out of your own way.'

So - take a shot. Take another. Keep taking those shots, over and over again.

And, by all means, let go of the 'previous shots' that you don't need, the fear of a mistake, the hurt of a failure... Decide that this shot, right here, right now, this is the one that matters.
In doing this, you'll get out of your own way, so the ball can land on the fairway. Or better yet, on the green!

Here's to your next shot.

Inside-Out Challenge

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful. -Scott Westerfeld

'Chris'

I walked into the hospital room to visit 'Chris'. He was a younger boy that I had mentored, and had fallen ill with a terminal disease. When I first met him, he was a physically striking young man -the heartthrob of all the high school girls. He lit up the room with his personality. I had been told to prepare myself because I wouldn't recognize him. The disease had caused him to loose limbs, swell with 85 lbs of water weight, break out in a horrible rash, and loose his hair. I walked into the room, expecting the worse.

I want you to take a moment here to consider what you think you would feel?

I expected to feel sorry for him and be sad. But, he made that almost impossible. As soon as I walked in, Chris' smile lit up the room. He cracked a joke, and gave me a hug. I spent about an hour with him that day and I remember forgetting all about those physical conditions. It was just him... just me - hanging out, cracking jokes and telling stories...just like always. And, when I asked him how he was 'handling everything' - he looked at me for a minute as if he wasn't sure what I meant. I then said, 'I know you wanted to be a professional athlete', and he didn't miss a beat and simply replied, 'Oh yeah, I will just play for a paraplegic team'. And made a bat swing in the air and smiled.

Chris' ability to see his inner beauty taught me more than he will probably ever know. How many times have I lost confidence in myself due to something completely unimportant? And, more significantly, how many times have I missed out on knowing someone fabulous (like Chris) because of some external stereotype or ignorance?

'Kurtis and Brenda'

Then there's Kurtis and Brenda... Kurtis(22) was a younger stock boy at the grocery store, Brenda was a cashier(26). Kurtis asked Brenda out on a date and she kept telling him no, 'it would be impossible'. Kurtis persisted and she finally let him know she had two kids and couldn't afford a babysitter. He offered to pay for the sitter.

The night he showed up, she said she couldn't go, the sitter had cancelled. Kurtis suggested they take the kids to dinner with them. Brenda let Kurtis in to show him that she had a daughter and a younger son. The younger son was in a wheelchair. Brenda assumed he would leave at that point, but Kurtis saw no issue. They went to dinner and had a wonderful time. Kurtis took great care of her son, and even picked him up and carried him when he had to go to the bathroom. Kurtis and Brenda continued to date and eventually got married. They are now Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner. (Kurt Warner was the QB for the Arizona Cardinals and took them to the Superbowl and won the NFL's MVP twice).

Kurt's ability to see inner beauty brought him what he now considers his greatest joy. He has mentioned many times in his press conferences that his family far outweighs any Superbowl win, ring or game.

I challenge you this week to make an effort to get to know someone you normally wouldn't; sit and listen to someone's story you haven't given a chance before. Try seeing someone from the inside-out.

You never know - maybe you'll meet someone who will change your life in ways you can't even imagine...

People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. -Salma Hayek

Believe In It All The Way

When you believe a thing, believe in it all the way. - Walt Disney

Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that assures the successful outcome of any venture. - William James

You can be anything you want to be. You can have anything you want to have. You can do anything you want to do. The common thread as to why people aren't who they want to be, don't have what they want to have and don't do what they want to do is because they lose their belief in the possibility of it.

Why? Because it is easier to fail. It is easier to give up. It is easier to go with the flow and not be different. It is easier to just be like everyone else. But, in settling for easier, we lose the very sense of what we were put on this earth to do. And, most importantly, we lose the sense of who were are and what brings joy in our lives.

I recently worked with a woman who was in her 70's. She hired me to train her because she wanted to be able to walk with her husband at night. She had tried countless exercise programs and had failed - for over 20 years. She let me know that she has wanted to be her husband's walking partner for those 20 years and each night, just watches him out the window as he takes his walk (and pretends it doesn't bother her). I asked her if she believed she could ever be capable of taking that walk with her husband and she said she did. That belief was all we needed.

Prior to beginning her fitness journey, she could only walk from her house to the car. In addition, she had been taking medication for Diabetes and high blood pressure for 20+ years. Her body fat composition measured well-over 40% bodyfat (30% is considered obese). She had gotten accustomed to living a sedentary life. But she wanted something different for herself. She no longer wanted to watch her husband walk alone. She no longer wanted to be winded walking to the car. She no longer wanted to sit back and watch life pass her by. She believed she could be different.

After six months of intensive conditioning, I just received a phone call from her. She is vacationing in Florida. It is the first time in 20+ years that she got on a plane and took a vacation. She mentioned she has gone off of almost all medication, and is wearing a clothing size she can't remember ever fitting in before...

And most importantly... tonight, their first night on vacation... she and her husband walked the entire resort. She mentioned they hadn't laughed so hard since their first year of dating. She said she felt like a teenager again. And, as they rounded the corner back to the hotel, hand-in-hand, she asked him, 'want to take another lap?' He smiled and told her she was going to wear him out. And, they took that second lap.

The only difference between this time and the previous 20 years of failure was her commitment to believing it was possible.

What do you believe is possible for yourself? What's stopping you?

Do It Anyway

This week's blog is inspired from a sign that hung on a wall in Mother Teresa's office. (see end of blog)

It is easy to let life get us down. When we get hurt by others, we tend to trust less. When we give all we have and 'fail' anyways, we learn not to try so hard. When we go out of our way to help someone, and they end up being ungrateful, we back down from being so generous. When we spend our lives building our homes, our banks, and our sense of being and then a tragedy takes them all away - we feel helpless and broken - afraid to start over again. When we put our hearts 'out there' and they get broken, they become numb and choose to not let themselves be as vulnerable next time.

But - we have two choices each moment. Whenever something comes into our lives we didn't want, expect or ask for - we can choose to let it get the best of us or we can chose to overcome it and let it bring out the best in us. Letting it get the best of us kills our spirit, while letting it bring out the best in us awakens our spirit and allows us to be more fully alive. How powerful would it be to fail, and fail magnificently at that, and yet, smile, and keep moving forward, as if it was just a bump in the road? In other words, if you fall (and we all do!), fall forwards.

I challenge you this week, and each one following - in those times when life is throwing you a curveball, when you feel broken, when you have been hurt, when you have 'failed' - GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY. In doing that - you will overcome the 'stuff' that has weighed you down in the past and you will rise above that 'stuff' to live the life you were meant to live.


Do It Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered,

LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,

DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are successful, you win false friends and
true enemies,

SUCCEED ANYWAY

The good you do will be forgotten
tomorrow,

DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,

BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight,

BUILD ANYWAY

People really need help but may attack you if you help them,

HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth,

GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY.