What Happens When You Get What You Want...

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live".

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Each week, I never know what I am going to write about. I wait for the message to show up, through a conversation I had with a friend, an experience I saw first-hand or some other form of inspiration that shows up on my doorstep. If there is ever a week that goes by that I don't post something, it is because I didn't feel any special message I felt authentic about sharing. I won't write just to write - I have to feel like there is something I am inspired to let the world know about and hope that there is someone, somewhere, that needed those words at that very moment.

This week, my message comes from the most unsuspecting conversation. I had my high school reunion this week and a group of us met on Sunday (most were still sleeping off the previous two days of reunion celebrating) and played a round of golf. The group had great chemistry, and seemed to laugh more than play.

Throughout the day, we would all swap carts so we could talk to those who we hadn't spent time with yet. Each time we did, I seemed to learn something interesting or inspiring from each person. One person helped me improve my golf game and talked about a new project he is taking on through his business; one talked about 'how to know when you are in the right relationship'; one talked of a recent heart break but a positive mindset; another talked about his time in the middle east fighting for our country; another talked about her goals for 2009. I felt like the theme 'everyone has a story' rang true. Every single person had an interesting story to tell. When I got to the next cartmate, I simply said, 'so tell me about you'. His response is what I choose to write about today.

He started off by saying he had to loose everything, to get what he wanted. Puzzled, I asked him to explain. He mentioned that he used to have a great job, great life, everything was.... great... but he really wanted to meet the right girl. He prayed and asked for God to bring her into his life. Ironically, God did. My friend met the most amazing girl whom he fell in love with immediately. His prayer had been answered.

While one prayer was answered, the other areas of his life that had been so great, crumbled slightly. He lost his job, he moved in with his dad to help him for a while... life as he knew it changed dramatically. I paused and then reacted by telling him how sorry I was to hear this.

But, his response was what left me in awe.

He said, 'don't be sorry, my prayer was answered. I got what I wanted. I asked for God to bring me the love of my life and He has. This other stuff is just stuff. I am rebuilding my life now and slowly but surely, all of the pieces are coming together. But most importantly, I got what I asked for... The rest will just fall in place.'

I was so inspired by his attitude. He knew exactly what he wanted and despite losing other things in his life, he was grateful that God had answered his prayer and he knew it would all work out. He had his priorities in order, he trusted himself and he knew he would be ok. He focused on what he had in his life vs. what he didn't have...

How many times have we had a wonderful opportunity to seize, but we spend so much time staring at what we wish we had or what we lost, that we miss out on what is right in front of us? I've had this trip me up many times.

You have to know what you want, what you are ok with not having and trust yourself that knowing these things will get you through the good and tough times.

I challenge you this week, to focus on what you want, understand what you can live without, and then trust yourself to move forward with these priorities. There are few times in life when all pins line up in a row for us, but if we can be clear on the ones that matter the most , we will know how to stay grateful and positive, even when going through a difficult time.

And my friend... he's getting ready to move to Europe to be with the love of his life. Not too bad of an outcome, I'd say.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Just be ready for it when it comes!

A Treadmill For Two

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had. "~ Unknown

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. "~ Grace Pulpit

As my cycle class was about to begin, a couple walked in. Quiet, smiling, they didn't make any disruption and went right over to some bikes that had been set up. If I hadn't been looking down I would have never noticed the dog that accompanied them. Perfectly behaved, the dog quietly led his owner through the dark room and to her bike. Then, he laid down and watched her cycle, without moving his gaze away from her for one second. As the music pumped, the energy got higher, and the lights flickered in the room, the dog's focus was on her and her alone.

After class, I asked the couple how their ride was and they gave some positive feedback and then I asked, 'was the music ok for him?' and pointed to the dog, a beautiful brown retriever. I had been worried that the music was too loud. They laughed and said, 'no, Happy is used to loud music'. The owner then let me know that she has had Happy for 1.5 years and the dog does everything with her. As she spoke, Happy kept close to her knee and rubbed it with his nose, from time to time, as if to let her know he was there.

She then said, 'in fact, the first time I tried to get on a treadmill, Happy, whose focus is to keep me safe', tried to get on the treadmill too, but it was akward because there wasn't enough room. Happy kept trying because he wanted to be by my side.'

I laughed but inside, my heart swelled to think of how sweet it was that the dog kept trying to get on the treadmill to walk with his mom to protect & guide her. I thought about how unconditional Happy was to his owner. It didn't matter what she was attempting or if he had been trained to know how to do it - whether laying in a cycle class next to his mom riding a stationary bike or attempting to walk on the treadmill with his mom, so that she felt guided and protected, he was always there.

I debated on if I had shown that same level of love for my friends and family. And, I thought about the friends who had show'd that same level of love for me.

How about you? Are you there for someone when they can't see for themselves? Do you go out of your comfort zone to be by their side? Do you gently 'nudge' them to remind them you are there, by calling them, holding their hand or putting your arm around them?

I challenge you this week to 'get on that treadmill' with a good friend. Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone... sit and listen... have patience... be there, even when inconvenient or difficult.

It isn't just the friends that show up for the party; but moreso, it's the friends who stand by your side and love you unconditionally that help to 'see' all that your life can be.

I think Happy's owner may actually 'see' more in life than most people with perfect vision.

So now, go on, get on that moving treadmill.

Look For the Lightning to Strike

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. You never know when lightning may strike. ~William Parrish (from the movie, 'Meet Joe Black').

Love. The most interesting of all topics in the world. It can cause the greatest joy - the deepest pain. It speaks many languages, looks and feels different to each person, and causes incredible confusion, and yet is the most amazing feeling that exists.

Recently, a dear friend of mine told me to watch the movie, 'Meet Joe Black' (she even bought me a copy to ensure I would watch it). I usually don't spend a lot of time watching movies by myself, but for some reason, I was drawn to have a night in, by myself, to view this recommended film.

Within 20 minutes of the movie, I knew I loved it. The quotation above was uttered from a doting father who was trying to counsel his beloved daughter on making sure she married the right man. At the time, she was in a relationship with a man who seemed 'perfect on paper' but didn't bring much excitement, joy or passion to her heart. Her dad told her to 'be open' and look for the 'lightning to strike'.

So many times, we fall into love with the comfortable, verses the passion and joy. I challenge you to keep your heart open to find the passion and joy that only love can bring you. If you have felt it, you know there is no feeling like it in the world. There is nothing better. There is nothing that you can't handle when with the partner that you love with all of your heart. After all, that's why the heart was created. To love. (supplying bloodflow circulation/oxidation is secondary!) Your heart was created to love with every ounce of your being. So why would you be ok with anything but that?

In addition, the movie depicted the idea that true love comes when the other person knows everything about you and loves you just the same... moreover, when you trust someone enough to tell them your deepest secret and trust they won't run away after hearing it.

Sure, this kind of love is hard to find. But I know it is out there.

So how do you find it? I wish I knew the black and white answer. But I can tell you this... Believe that you deserve to be loved by someone with all of their heart, and that you could love someone that much...

and then be open... and look for the lightning to strike.