Following Your Path

"True teachers use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own."-Nikos Kazantzakis

Sometimes I find myself asking, 'how do I know what the 'right' next step is in my life? How do I know which decision to make?'

Many people, whom I think make very good decisions in their lives, use their 'heart' as their brain. They base their next steps on instinct and feeling. Conversely, I also know a lot of people who make successful decisions on the other end of the spectrum - they scientifically analyze data and details and make decisions based on logic.

I don't believe there is one better way to make a decision - each of us have our own ways of finding what's right for ourselves. I do think, however, that there are a few things that each of us can do in order to feel confident and clear on the decisions that we need to make in order to keep ourselves 'on course'.

1.) Find Your Authentic Path

Make decisions in your life based on being you. If you notice that someone you respect tends to make decisions based on x,y or z, do not feel you need to do those same things. Some times I look at my colleagues and successful fitness role models and I see what they did to get where they are and I wonder if I should be doing 'that' too. I've tried to follow the path of others to create my own, and in my experience - that just doesn't work. You must find your own path, designed by your authentic self. Sure, you can pick up bits and pieces from the leadership and decision-making patterns of others who 'have arrived', but you must not let go of your own spirit and way. You are perfect in your own sense and when you are authentically you - you create the path you were meant to walk down. Soon, you'll find others want to know your secret and will try to walk your path too. They will learn, too, that they need to develop their own authentic path. (see #3)

2.) Find A Teacher

One of the most powerful opportunities we have in our lives is to develop relationships. While we must be authentic in our own decisions, we all need a little guidance and support. There will be times we fall, fail, misstep, can't hear our own inner voice or are afraid of what that inner voice is telling us. I believe we all have 1-2 teachers in our lives that 'show us the way'. These are people who we have found an undefinable connection with that aren't afraid to show us 'their secrets to success' and help us to come into our own. These are powerful, life-changing teachers who help us to embrace our authentic selves and make the most of every blessing in our lives. While this 'teacher' is an incredible gift in our lives, some of us are afraid to find our own teacher. We are stubborn, think we can do it on our own, or again, afraid of what that teacher may show us. If that is you, I especially challenge you to break out of that wave of thought and be open to allowing your teacher to come into your life. When we are open to receiving, the teacher appears.

3.) Be A Teacher

Just as we seek our teacher for guidance and support, we also have the gift to be the same for someone else. Just as you are open to receiving your teacher and his/her words, know that someone is seeking the same from you. When you notice someone coming to you who has the same dreams and passion, be open to being a teacher for that person. It just may be one of the most rewarding decisions you make... and, don't be afraid to share, 'your secrets'. Remember, we must all find our own path - so even if you show someone else how you 'did it', they must take your way as a lesson, but carve out their own. You never know - you may learn more from your student than you ever imagined.

I challenge you (and me!) this week, to be clear on who your authentic self is. What is ok and not ok in your life? What do you truly believe and want? What makes you authentically different from the crowd? (Celebrate that!) What makes you come fully alive?

Then, spend some time thinking about the 'teacher' who you have in your life and how much of an impact he/she has made in your world. Are you letting him/her in as much as you can? He/she is there in your life for a reason. Let your teacher be a guide for you.

Finally, consider if you are currently serving in the role as 'teacher' to someone else. If not - can you be? Is there someone waiting in the wings for your outreached hand?

And, after all of this thought - I challenge you to 'be open' to seeing your authentic self(and loving it!), letting your teacher in, and being that teacher to someone else. And then, enjoy the journey. You're right on track.

"A great teacher never strives to explain her vision; she simply invites you to stand beside her and see for yourself."-The Rev. R. Inman

*This blog was inspired by a recent conversation I had with an amazing friend of mine, during a night of stories and observations.

Brick Walls Are There On Purpose

''Brick Walls' are there to stop the people that don't want it badly enough.'

- Randy Pausch

A few years ago, I had what I felt would be my first big break. A talent scout from NYC called me and told me he would pay for me to fly to Dallas to teach at a fitness show. The 'gig' consisted of me teaching on stage 3 times during a 2 day show, in which 90,000 people were expected to attend. He said his agency picks 1-2 'up-and-comers' in the fitness industry to support and rally behind. His agency had come across my portfolio and they had selected me. I checked out their website and the show's website and it seemed legitimate, and so I signed on.

I couldn't have been more excited. This was the start of what I had dreamed of... I went shopping and bought 5 new fitness outfits, packed my best business suits (he told me I would be going to dinners with agents and other 'important' people), I took my computers, video cameras, full inventory of my fitness videos, posters etc.

Upon arrival, I found that the fitness show had not been promoted, and while there were a lot of vendors, there weren't any people in attendance. The vendors were livid, the 'talent' (the group I was in) that was to perform was annoyed, and the people producing the event couldn't be found. I decided to make the best of what seemed to be a 'bad' situation, and I set up my video camera, got on stage, turned up the microphone, and just started doing what I came to do. I pulled everyone at the show out on to the floor and started teaching and bringing some energy into the room. While it was a small turnout, I took advantage of the experience and had a lot of fun. God bless the older couple that hung out at the front of the stage the entire time I was up there, as if I was a rockstar and they were pumping their fists and hooping and hollering for me the entire 40 minutes. We all need those people to get us through. Where ever you are, my groupy couple - thank you. You kept me going.

When I finished, I found that anyone who had come out on the floor to workout with me, flocked to me for my video and autograph. While it wasn't what I had been promised (by any means), the experience on day 1 was fun and I was happy with myself for seeing how I could take lemons and make lemonade.

On day two, half of the vendors didn't return, and most of the talent flew home (some the big names that arrived were threatening to sue!). The show seemed even more 'shanty' than the day before. But again, I got on stage and did what I came to do. My life motto has been to make a difference to the lives of others - so whether that is 3 people or 300,000. They all count.

Afterwards, I had the same small flow of 'fans' asking for videos and autographs. I had kept my DVDs in my car as I would be going to the airport after I finished and so all of my luggage was in my rental car. I went out to my rental car to get a few videos and I had an eerie feeling. Something didn't feel right. I had parked in the secure, covered lot attached to the Dallas Convention Center. I had parked close to the doors I had walked into - and hadn't thought much about it. When I got to my rental car, I found it had been broken into and all of my inventory, cameras, computers, clothing, jewelry.... gone.

I called the police and they came and said my car had been parked from the 1 angle in the garage that the security cameras couldn't reach. They said that it was common for thieves to camp out in garages on Sundays, as they know this is the last day of a show and most people working a show will have their luggage... an ideal day to steal out of cars. So- I just so happened to park in the wrong spot, at the wrong time, and - all of my stuff was gone. I went back inside and told the other vendors (in case they wanted to check their cars) and they came up with all of these conspiracy theories on how the whole weekend had been a scam and my car had been broken into by the same scam artists that got us to come to the show in the first place.

Deciding not to spend time in this negative thought, I left the show, got into my rental car, bagless, and drove to the airport. I remember feeling numb. I wanted to cry, but I also couldn't believe what had happened. Not only had it not been my 'big break' in terms of getting discovered, but it was a 'big break' to my possessions - everything I had for my business (that I had built over two years) and my favorite jewelry, clothing etc, was gone. Somehow, I remained calm, saying over and over again, 'it's just stuff, Julie... it's just stuff.'

It wasn't until I got to the airport check-in and the friendly airline woman asked me if I had any bags to check, that I started to cry. She had to be so surprised - I may have been the first person on Earth who broke down in tears at the asking of that question. But, I quickly pulled myself together, smiled and told her I had just 'had a moment' but was now fine.

During my flight home, I thought about what happened... Was this a sign? Was I a fool to think I was going to get that big break? I would now have to start over again with my business. The idea felt a bit exhausting and I had no idea where I would get the money to do that... I had spent my savings over the past 2 years starting my company, buying my equipment, contracting with video production companies, shooting my videos, hiring distribution centers to fill my orders, working with graphic designers to build my brand and make my posters, DVD covers, banners, website logos etc. It felt like it was all gone.

Was this a way of God telling me I was off track and shouldn't pursue this dream? Was I forcing something that wasn't meant to be?

I asked myself those questions a good portion of the flight back. And you know, the funny thing is, every time I asked one of those questions, my soul, my heart and my head all immediately answered in unison, 'Nope. You're fine. Just keep going. This is what you were meant to do. It's just a stumble, not an ending'. I actually heard myself say, 'I know this event will make my business even better'.

Two years later, I have shot 8 more videos, am on tap to shoot 5 more in the near future, am writing a book, have shot commercials for products and events, am a spokeperson and ambassador for various health philanthropies and fitness initiatives and have been in over 15 other fitness shows and conferences that were actually legitimate.

As I look back, I realize, that the 'Dallas' pitfall helped me to see how committed I was to my dream. If I was wishy-washy about it, I would have quit and moved on to another passion or idea. But I knew, without waiver, that this is what I am supposed to do in my life. Showing others how fabulous fitness can feel is what I am here for... if anything, the pitfall just made me want it more. (And don't get me wrong, while my business has taken off, I still have a long ways to go to reach my goals and dreams for it. But, I know what I want, and I know it is possible.)

So, I challenge you, to see the small hurdles and missteps in your life as blessings. They help you to decide how bad you really want something. Those brick walls are there to be overcome. You just have to decide you are up for the challenge. And, then... enjoy the journey and all of the bumps and turns along the way.

And, when you get the chance, find a way to be that rockstar groupy in the front row, pumping your fists and hooping and hollering for someone else who is on their journey. My groupy couple kept me on that stage. They have no idea what their energy did for me that day. So, go give your hoops and hollers to someone. You will make all the difference.