Get In Your Zone

Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going. - Tennessee Williams

She walked into my yoga/pilates class in tears. She silently placed a mat down, sat on it, and had her phone out next to her. She checked that it was on vibrate (but still on) and checked several more times before the class started - as if she was hopeful to see someone had called.

I walked up to the stage and asked my typical 'starting off questions'. 'What was the pulse of the class? Was it a good day? Was it a bad day? Why did people come to class? Strength? Confidence? Energy? De-stress? How did people want to feel when they left? Energized? Happy? Powerful?'

I had my eye on her, to see how she would respond. She sat unresponsive. I knew her mind was somewhere else.

I then told the class that I needed each person to be willing to let go of whatever was on their mind and choose to be present in the moment of what we were doing. I said, 'if you just go through the motions, you'll just have a mediocre workout, but if you think about connecting your movement, with your breath, with your thoughts, with your goals, then you will find yourself present.' I glanced at her one more time and she was checking her phone.

We began class and I can always tell those who have been able to let go of their 'outside of the studio stress' and allow themselves to be inwardly focused on themselves for the hour. I call this, 'getting into their zone'. I always know without doubt, that they leave feeling better than they came. I know when they walk out of the studio, they will be able to deal with whatever comes their way, better, with more patience and strength.

*Back to class* Halfway through class I looked over during a difficult transition where we end up in a reverse triangle and our heads are low to the ground. When in this pose, she was looking at her phone.

I brought us out of this sequence and paused in a prayer position for a moment and said, 'I know that when we are going through a difficult time, it is painful to let go of the outside chatter. If someone has left us, something didn't work out, something failed miserably - whatever it is - there is nothing you can do except get your heart in the right place to handle it. This is a choice you make right here, right now. You can choose to hold onto that and feel miserable and go through the motions of this class, and then go through the motions of life when you leave. Or, you can chose right now to honor your body, how amazing it is, think about the next step you take and be aware of the breath coming into your body. You can chose to be at your best right now - no one is stopping you but you. If you let some outside distraction stop you, then that distraction has won.'

We went back into our vinyasa flow and I looked over. At first I thought she was packing up to leave, but I quickly learned she was putting her phone away into a bag and walked it over to the side of the room. She came back and finished class with one of the best 'present moments' I have ever witnessed.

After class she came up to me and told me her story. She was going through a breakup with the 'love of her life'. She had been lethargic for days and could not bring herself to want to do anything but cry (been there, done that!) She said she had tried going to the gym 3 other times but would leave in tears, unable to finish her workout because she was so upset. She said she wasn't sure if she could make it through tonight, but when I said, 'if you let that outside distraction stop you from being present, then it has won...' it all made sense to her. While she didn't like how she was feeling, it was because she missed the past and longed for the future with her boyfriend. She didn't enjoy the present of being right here, right now.

Later that week, I received an email from her. She said that she practiced being present at work, as well as out to dinner with her friends. She focused on being into each conversation, being her best, and enjoying the moment. She said she finally figured out how to let go of what she couldn't control, by focusing on being present with who she was right at this moment. Amazingly enough... the moment she had this realization, he called.

Now it's up to her to determine what to do with this next moment. I am confident that she has all the tools that she needs to make the right decision for her. Afterall, those are the tools you learn when focusing on being present and honoring yourself.

I know I have found myself in this place before. When something is out of your control that you want desperately - perhaps a love - a job - a friend, it can be overwhelming and creates a lot of anxiety and stress. I have found if I can bring myself to be present in the moment and reflect inwardly on taking care of me - then I can overcome whatever heartbreak or disappointment I have faced. It is easier said than done, that is for sure. But, I recommend finding a good yoga class or unconditional friend as a starter...

Here's to this moment. May you 'get in your zone' and be fully aware of how fabulous you really are...

"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life." - Sanskrit poem

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment." - Henry David Thoreau

"Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories." -- Cathy Allen

What Happens When You Get What You Want...

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live".

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Each week, I never know what I am going to write about. I wait for the message to show up, through a conversation I had with a friend, an experience I saw first-hand or some other form of inspiration that shows up on my doorstep. If there is ever a week that goes by that I don't post something, it is because I didn't feel any special message I felt authentic about sharing. I won't write just to write - I have to feel like there is something I am inspired to let the world know about and hope that there is someone, somewhere, that needed those words at that very moment.

This week, my message comes from the most unsuspecting conversation. I had my high school reunion this week and a group of us met on Sunday (most were still sleeping off the previous two days of reunion celebrating) and played a round of golf. The group had great chemistry, and seemed to laugh more than play.

Throughout the day, we would all swap carts so we could talk to those who we hadn't spent time with yet. Each time we did, I seemed to learn something interesting or inspiring from each person. One person helped me improve my golf game and talked about a new project he is taking on through his business; one talked about 'how to know when you are in the right relationship'; one talked of a recent heart break but a positive mindset; another talked about his time in the middle east fighting for our country; another talked about her goals for 2009. I felt like the theme 'everyone has a story' rang true. Every single person had an interesting story to tell. When I got to the next cartmate, I simply said, 'so tell me about you'. His response is what I choose to write about today.

He started off by saying he had to loose everything, to get what he wanted. Puzzled, I asked him to explain. He mentioned that he used to have a great job, great life, everything was.... great... but he really wanted to meet the right girl. He prayed and asked for God to bring her into his life. Ironically, God did. My friend met the most amazing girl whom he fell in love with immediately. His prayer had been answered.

While one prayer was answered, the other areas of his life that had been so great, crumbled slightly. He lost his job, he moved in with his dad to help him for a while... life as he knew it changed dramatically. I paused and then reacted by telling him how sorry I was to hear this.

But, his response was what left me in awe.

He said, 'don't be sorry, my prayer was answered. I got what I wanted. I asked for God to bring me the love of my life and He has. This other stuff is just stuff. I am rebuilding my life now and slowly but surely, all of the pieces are coming together. But most importantly, I got what I asked for... The rest will just fall in place.'

I was so inspired by his attitude. He knew exactly what he wanted and despite losing other things in his life, he was grateful that God had answered his prayer and he knew it would all work out. He had his priorities in order, he trusted himself and he knew he would be ok. He focused on what he had in his life vs. what he didn't have...

How many times have we had a wonderful opportunity to seize, but we spend so much time staring at what we wish we had or what we lost, that we miss out on what is right in front of us? I've had this trip me up many times.

You have to know what you want, what you are ok with not having and trust yourself that knowing these things will get you through the good and tough times.

I challenge you this week, to focus on what you want, understand what you can live without, and then trust yourself to move forward with these priorities. There are few times in life when all pins line up in a row for us, but if we can be clear on the ones that matter the most , we will know how to stay grateful and positive, even when going through a difficult time.

And my friend... he's getting ready to move to Europe to be with the love of his life. Not too bad of an outcome, I'd say.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Just be ready for it when it comes!