Bounce Like The Pros

Have you ever had anyone say something to you that bothered you so much, you let it ruin the rest of your day? Or maybe even the rest of your week? Perhaps your boss told you that your work wasn't up to par, or your significant other told you that they didn't like something you did?

Have you ever failed (and failed big) at something and then never bothered to try it again, simply because the threat of failing again wasn't worth the risk?

Have you ever 'put yourself out there' and decided to tell someone how you feel about them - only to have their response be less than you had hoped for - so you ran away - never to put yourself out there again?

If you have answered 'yes' to any of these things, then I congratulate you - on being a normal human being. I also have a challenge for you to consider.

When I look at successful people - one of the greatest underlying qualities that they possess is the person's ability to keep moving forward, despite the pitfalls in their way. A few well-known examples include: Colonol Sanders & Michael Jordan. Did you know the Colonel was turned down exactly 1000 times prior to being financially backed for Kentucky Fried Chicken? And, did you realize Michael was cut from his high school freshman basketball team? Despite their pitfalls, they overcame the past and moved forward into their amazing future.

Another great example of this is in the game of golf. I am intrigued by this game because of its inconsistency. What I mean by this is that the game of golf doesn't hand you the same outline on any given day - golf throws a new hurdle at the player each time he/she steps on the course. The world's best players, and I mean BEST players, can play a 4 under on a course one day and the very next day, shoot 7 over on that same course. It isn't that their skillset is any less amazing than the day before... It is a part of the game. There are a million and one variables in golf - the wind, the temperature, the grass, the dew, the club choice, the sun, how a golfer feels that day, their mental focus, their level of fatigue, etc. All play roles in the outcome of a day on the course. Some weeks the pros do well, others, they get cut. When a player gets cut on day 2 of a tournament, how do they return back to the line up the next week, ready to finish on top of the leaderboard? Or, on one hole, a player may birdie it (complete the hole in 1 less shot than expected), and then next, double bogey (complete the hole in 2 shots more than expected). How does he/she keep from letting that 'bad shot' ruin the rest of their game?

It takes incredible skill to be able to let go of that bad shot and set up for the next good shot. But, that is what separates the good from the great. Have you ever watched Tiger Woods after he has a bad shot? Very rarely will he have two in a row. He doesn't dwell on the shot he missed, he focuses on the shot he is about to take. Have you ever seen Paul Casey or Camilo Villegas play? Paul stays calm no matter what his last shot looked like - he focuses on where he is right now and what he needs to do. He appears in a 'zone' and is not distracted. And Camilo... no matter what the last hole looked like for him- when he approaches the next one, he looks at every possibility on the field, his mind runs a million miles a minute. He gets low to the ground, he looks high up at the trees. He looks way down to the end of the hole, almost as if he is imagining the pathway the ball will take... He takes in everything around him and focuses on being his best at that moment.

I am not sure of their secret to letting go of a 'bad shot' and focusing in on the shot at hand, but I do know it is how they have learned to be so successful at their sport. (amongst just being really good at golf as well!) (and trust me when I say I don't know their secret - when I am out on the golf course, I try to have that "Tiger Woods'" focus, but I turn into Happy Gilmore halfway through the course).

So I challenge you this week to let go of a 'bad shot' you have had, at work, with a significant other, with a goal you fell short on, and seize up your next opportunity, taking in all that is around you. Decide how you will play that next opportunity. Bounce back.

We tend to place rocks in our way in the form of past failures, fear and the choice to hold onto something that we don't need anymore. We hold onto our mistakes and allow ourselves to focus on the fear that comes with them. As Russell Simmons explains in his book, 'Do You', 'if you want to make a commitment to never quitting, one of the first steps is to simply get out of your own way.'

So - take a shot. Take another. Keep taking those shots, over and over again.

And, by all means, let go of the 'previous shots' that you don't need, the fear of a mistake, the hurt of a failure... Decide that this shot, right here, right now, this is the one that matters.
In doing this, you'll get out of your own way, so the ball can land on the fairway. Or better yet, on the green!

Here's to your next shot.

Following Your Path

"True teachers use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own."-Nikos Kazantzakis

Sometimes I find myself asking, 'how do I know what the 'right' next step is in my life? How do I know which decision to make?'

Many people, whom I think make very good decisions in their lives, use their 'heart' as their brain. They base their next steps on instinct and feeling. Conversely, I also know a lot of people who make successful decisions on the other end of the spectrum - they scientifically analyze data and details and make decisions based on logic.

I don't believe there is one better way to make a decision - each of us have our own ways of finding what's right for ourselves. I do think, however, that there are a few things that each of us can do in order to feel confident and clear on the decisions that we need to make in order to keep ourselves 'on course'.

1.) Find Your Authentic Path

Make decisions in your life based on being you. If you notice that someone you respect tends to make decisions based on x,y or z, do not feel you need to do those same things. Some times I look at my colleagues and successful fitness role models and I see what they did to get where they are and I wonder if I should be doing 'that' too. I've tried to follow the path of others to create my own, and in my experience - that just doesn't work. You must find your own path, designed by your authentic self. Sure, you can pick up bits and pieces from the leadership and decision-making patterns of others who 'have arrived', but you must not let go of your own spirit and way. You are perfect in your own sense and when you are authentically you - you create the path you were meant to walk down. Soon, you'll find others want to know your secret and will try to walk your path too. They will learn, too, that they need to develop their own authentic path. (see #3)

2.) Find A Teacher

One of the most powerful opportunities we have in our lives is to develop relationships. While we must be authentic in our own decisions, we all need a little guidance and support. There will be times we fall, fail, misstep, can't hear our own inner voice or are afraid of what that inner voice is telling us. I believe we all have 1-2 teachers in our lives that 'show us the way'. These are people who we have found an undefinable connection with that aren't afraid to show us 'their secrets to success' and help us to come into our own. These are powerful, life-changing teachers who help us to embrace our authentic selves and make the most of every blessing in our lives. While this 'teacher' is an incredible gift in our lives, some of us are afraid to find our own teacher. We are stubborn, think we can do it on our own, or again, afraid of what that teacher may show us. If that is you, I especially challenge you to break out of that wave of thought and be open to allowing your teacher to come into your life. When we are open to receiving, the teacher appears.

3.) Be A Teacher

Just as we seek our teacher for guidance and support, we also have the gift to be the same for someone else. Just as you are open to receiving your teacher and his/her words, know that someone is seeking the same from you. When you notice someone coming to you who has the same dreams and passion, be open to being a teacher for that person. It just may be one of the most rewarding decisions you make... and, don't be afraid to share, 'your secrets'. Remember, we must all find our own path - so even if you show someone else how you 'did it', they must take your way as a lesson, but carve out their own. You never know - you may learn more from your student than you ever imagined.

I challenge you (and me!) this week, to be clear on who your authentic self is. What is ok and not ok in your life? What do you truly believe and want? What makes you authentically different from the crowd? (Celebrate that!) What makes you come fully alive?

Then, spend some time thinking about the 'teacher' who you have in your life and how much of an impact he/she has made in your world. Are you letting him/her in as much as you can? He/she is there in your life for a reason. Let your teacher be a guide for you.

Finally, consider if you are currently serving in the role as 'teacher' to someone else. If not - can you be? Is there someone waiting in the wings for your outreached hand?

And, after all of this thought - I challenge you to 'be open' to seeing your authentic self(and loving it!), letting your teacher in, and being that teacher to someone else. And then, enjoy the journey. You're right on track.

"A great teacher never strives to explain her vision; she simply invites you to stand beside her and see for yourself."-The Rev. R. Inman

*This blog was inspired by a recent conversation I had with an amazing friend of mine, during a night of stories and observations.

How To Never Fail

Would you like the secret to never failing? What if you could learn how to never make a mistake, never take the wrong turn, never say the wrong thing? If there was a way you could guarantee to always have a smooth and easy path, would you want to know?

Well, then I have the answers for you. There are two ways to achieve the above. You may chose one, or the other.

1.) In the words of one of my fitness industry friends & mentor, Kimberly Spreen, 'Do Nothing'. That's right. 'Do Nothing'. In order to never make a mistake, say a wrong word, or turn the wrong way, you must simply never speak, act or do anything. How can you possibly make a mistake if you aren't doing anything? Ok, ok - the point is that there is no way we can ever live where we don't occasionally say something we wish we wouldn't have, or turn right when the directions said straight. These things are just a part of our journey and how we learn.

2.) The true way we can make sure we are always confident with how we speak, act and live is to change how we view the situation. Instead of seeing it as a mistake or failure, see it as a stepping stone to greater understanding of yourself, your journey and your life. Here are some examples of people who thought they were off course at the time, and then realized there was a greater reason why:

• Consider the people who were running late for work at the World Trade Center on 9/11.
• Think about the person who developed the 'Post It'. He discovered the concept after trying to make a new form of glue. The glue didn't work, but the post-it note has now made him a millionaire.
• Imagine 'finding love' when panicking over turning the 'wrong way'. A friend of mine got lost and was late for an appointment and had to stop to ask for directions when she met the man who became her husband.

I've heard leaders say time and again, 'My greatest mistake turned into my greatest success'. Instead of seeing your mistakes, missteps and rough times as failures, I challenge you this week to choose to see them as windows to new adventures, learnings and experiences. Keep your mindset positive and open. Try not to be stuck on what you thought you wanted to do, be or say, but be open to what comes into your life.

'The Last Lecture' author, Randy Pausch, said in his speech, 'Experience is what we get when we don't get what we want.' That experience is typically more valuable than what we had hoped for in our original quest.

'There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be Patient.' -Sri Swami Satchidananda

Here's to your road ahead - may it be positively bumpy, may it have turns you didn't expect and may you end up at a castle far greater than you ever dreamed of...