Bounce Like The Pros

Have you ever had anyone say something to you that bothered you so much, you let it ruin the rest of your day? Or maybe even the rest of your week? Perhaps your boss told you that your work wasn't up to par, or your significant other told you that they didn't like something you did?

Have you ever failed (and failed big) at something and then never bothered to try it again, simply because the threat of failing again wasn't worth the risk?

Have you ever 'put yourself out there' and decided to tell someone how you feel about them - only to have their response be less than you had hoped for - so you ran away - never to put yourself out there again?

If you have answered 'yes' to any of these things, then I congratulate you - on being a normal human being. I also have a challenge for you to consider.

When I look at successful people - one of the greatest underlying qualities that they possess is the person's ability to keep moving forward, despite the pitfalls in their way. A few well-known examples include: Colonol Sanders & Michael Jordan. Did you know the Colonel was turned down exactly 1000 times prior to being financially backed for Kentucky Fried Chicken? And, did you realize Michael was cut from his high school freshman basketball team? Despite their pitfalls, they overcame the past and moved forward into their amazing future.

Another great example of this is in the game of golf. I am intrigued by this game because of its inconsistency. What I mean by this is that the game of golf doesn't hand you the same outline on any given day - golf throws a new hurdle at the player each time he/she steps on the course. The world's best players, and I mean BEST players, can play a 4 under on a course one day and the very next day, shoot 7 over on that same course. It isn't that their skillset is any less amazing than the day before... It is a part of the game. There are a million and one variables in golf - the wind, the temperature, the grass, the dew, the club choice, the sun, how a golfer feels that day, their mental focus, their level of fatigue, etc. All play roles in the outcome of a day on the course. Some weeks the pros do well, others, they get cut. When a player gets cut on day 2 of a tournament, how do they return back to the line up the next week, ready to finish on top of the leaderboard? Or, on one hole, a player may birdie it (complete the hole in 1 less shot than expected), and then next, double bogey (complete the hole in 2 shots more than expected). How does he/she keep from letting that 'bad shot' ruin the rest of their game?

It takes incredible skill to be able to let go of that bad shot and set up for the next good shot. But, that is what separates the good from the great. Have you ever watched Tiger Woods after he has a bad shot? Very rarely will he have two in a row. He doesn't dwell on the shot he missed, he focuses on the shot he is about to take. Have you ever seen Paul Casey or Camilo Villegas play? Paul stays calm no matter what his last shot looked like - he focuses on where he is right now and what he needs to do. He appears in a 'zone' and is not distracted. And Camilo... no matter what the last hole looked like for him- when he approaches the next one, he looks at every possibility on the field, his mind runs a million miles a minute. He gets low to the ground, he looks high up at the trees. He looks way down to the end of the hole, almost as if he is imagining the pathway the ball will take... He takes in everything around him and focuses on being his best at that moment.

I am not sure of their secret to letting go of a 'bad shot' and focusing in on the shot at hand, but I do know it is how they have learned to be so successful at their sport. (amongst just being really good at golf as well!) (and trust me when I say I don't know their secret - when I am out on the golf course, I try to have that "Tiger Woods'" focus, but I turn into Happy Gilmore halfway through the course).

So I challenge you this week to let go of a 'bad shot' you have had, at work, with a significant other, with a goal you fell short on, and seize up your next opportunity, taking in all that is around you. Decide how you will play that next opportunity. Bounce back.

We tend to place rocks in our way in the form of past failures, fear and the choice to hold onto something that we don't need anymore. We hold onto our mistakes and allow ourselves to focus on the fear that comes with them. As Russell Simmons explains in his book, 'Do You', 'if you want to make a commitment to never quitting, one of the first steps is to simply get out of your own way.'

So - take a shot. Take another. Keep taking those shots, over and over again.

And, by all means, let go of the 'previous shots' that you don't need, the fear of a mistake, the hurt of a failure... Decide that this shot, right here, right now, this is the one that matters.
In doing this, you'll get out of your own way, so the ball can land on the fairway. Or better yet, on the green!

Here's to your next shot.

Following Your Path

"True teachers use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own."-Nikos Kazantzakis

Sometimes I find myself asking, 'how do I know what the 'right' next step is in my life? How do I know which decision to make?'

Many people, whom I think make very good decisions in their lives, use their 'heart' as their brain. They base their next steps on instinct and feeling. Conversely, I also know a lot of people who make successful decisions on the other end of the spectrum - they scientifically analyze data and details and make decisions based on logic.

I don't believe there is one better way to make a decision - each of us have our own ways of finding what's right for ourselves. I do think, however, that there are a few things that each of us can do in order to feel confident and clear on the decisions that we need to make in order to keep ourselves 'on course'.

1.) Find Your Authentic Path

Make decisions in your life based on being you. If you notice that someone you respect tends to make decisions based on x,y or z, do not feel you need to do those same things. Some times I look at my colleagues and successful fitness role models and I see what they did to get where they are and I wonder if I should be doing 'that' too. I've tried to follow the path of others to create my own, and in my experience - that just doesn't work. You must find your own path, designed by your authentic self. Sure, you can pick up bits and pieces from the leadership and decision-making patterns of others who 'have arrived', but you must not let go of your own spirit and way. You are perfect in your own sense and when you are authentically you - you create the path you were meant to walk down. Soon, you'll find others want to know your secret and will try to walk your path too. They will learn, too, that they need to develop their own authentic path. (see #3)

2.) Find A Teacher

One of the most powerful opportunities we have in our lives is to develop relationships. While we must be authentic in our own decisions, we all need a little guidance and support. There will be times we fall, fail, misstep, can't hear our own inner voice or are afraid of what that inner voice is telling us. I believe we all have 1-2 teachers in our lives that 'show us the way'. These are people who we have found an undefinable connection with that aren't afraid to show us 'their secrets to success' and help us to come into our own. These are powerful, life-changing teachers who help us to embrace our authentic selves and make the most of every blessing in our lives. While this 'teacher' is an incredible gift in our lives, some of us are afraid to find our own teacher. We are stubborn, think we can do it on our own, or again, afraid of what that teacher may show us. If that is you, I especially challenge you to break out of that wave of thought and be open to allowing your teacher to come into your life. When we are open to receiving, the teacher appears.

3.) Be A Teacher

Just as we seek our teacher for guidance and support, we also have the gift to be the same for someone else. Just as you are open to receiving your teacher and his/her words, know that someone is seeking the same from you. When you notice someone coming to you who has the same dreams and passion, be open to being a teacher for that person. It just may be one of the most rewarding decisions you make... and, don't be afraid to share, 'your secrets'. Remember, we must all find our own path - so even if you show someone else how you 'did it', they must take your way as a lesson, but carve out their own. You never know - you may learn more from your student than you ever imagined.

I challenge you (and me!) this week, to be clear on who your authentic self is. What is ok and not ok in your life? What do you truly believe and want? What makes you authentically different from the crowd? (Celebrate that!) What makes you come fully alive?

Then, spend some time thinking about the 'teacher' who you have in your life and how much of an impact he/she has made in your world. Are you letting him/her in as much as you can? He/she is there in your life for a reason. Let your teacher be a guide for you.

Finally, consider if you are currently serving in the role as 'teacher' to someone else. If not - can you be? Is there someone waiting in the wings for your outreached hand?

And, after all of this thought - I challenge you to 'be open' to seeing your authentic self(and loving it!), letting your teacher in, and being that teacher to someone else. And then, enjoy the journey. You're right on track.

"A great teacher never strives to explain her vision; she simply invites you to stand beside her and see for yourself."-The Rev. R. Inman

*This blog was inspired by a recent conversation I had with an amazing friend of mine, during a night of stories and observations.

How To Never Fail

Would you like the secret to never failing? What if you could learn how to never make a mistake, never take the wrong turn, never say the wrong thing? If there was a way you could guarantee to always have a smooth and easy path, would you want to know?

Well, then I have the answers for you. There are two ways to achieve the above. You may chose one, or the other.

1.) In the words of one of my fitness industry friends & mentor, Kimberly Spreen, 'Do Nothing'. That's right. 'Do Nothing'. In order to never make a mistake, say a wrong word, or turn the wrong way, you must simply never speak, act or do anything. How can you possibly make a mistake if you aren't doing anything? Ok, ok - the point is that there is no way we can ever live where we don't occasionally say something we wish we wouldn't have, or turn right when the directions said straight. These things are just a part of our journey and how we learn.

2.) The true way we can make sure we are always confident with how we speak, act and live is to change how we view the situation. Instead of seeing it as a mistake or failure, see it as a stepping stone to greater understanding of yourself, your journey and your life. Here are some examples of people who thought they were off course at the time, and then realized there was a greater reason why:

• Consider the people who were running late for work at the World Trade Center on 9/11.
• Think about the person who developed the 'Post It'. He discovered the concept after trying to make a new form of glue. The glue didn't work, but the post-it note has now made him a millionaire.
• Imagine 'finding love' when panicking over turning the 'wrong way'. A friend of mine got lost and was late for an appointment and had to stop to ask for directions when she met the man who became her husband.

I've heard leaders say time and again, 'My greatest mistake turned into my greatest success'. Instead of seeing your mistakes, missteps and rough times as failures, I challenge you this week to choose to see them as windows to new adventures, learnings and experiences. Keep your mindset positive and open. Try not to be stuck on what you thought you wanted to do, be or say, but be open to what comes into your life.

'The Last Lecture' author, Randy Pausch, said in his speech, 'Experience is what we get when we don't get what we want.' That experience is typically more valuable than what we had hoped for in our original quest.

'There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be Patient.' -Sri Swami Satchidananda

Here's to your road ahead - may it be positively bumpy, may it have turns you didn't expect and may you end up at a castle far greater than you ever dreamed of...

Brick Walls Are There On Purpose

''Brick Walls' are there to stop the people that don't want it badly enough.'

- Randy Pausch

A few years ago, I had what I felt would be my first big break. A talent scout from NYC called me and told me he would pay for me to fly to Dallas to teach at a fitness show. The 'gig' consisted of me teaching on stage 3 times during a 2 day show, in which 90,000 people were expected to attend. He said his agency picks 1-2 'up-and-comers' in the fitness industry to support and rally behind. His agency had come across my portfolio and they had selected me. I checked out their website and the show's website and it seemed legitimate, and so I signed on.

I couldn't have been more excited. This was the start of what I had dreamed of... I went shopping and bought 5 new fitness outfits, packed my best business suits (he told me I would be going to dinners with agents and other 'important' people), I took my computers, video cameras, full inventory of my fitness videos, posters etc.

Upon arrival, I found that the fitness show had not been promoted, and while there were a lot of vendors, there weren't any people in attendance. The vendors were livid, the 'talent' (the group I was in) that was to perform was annoyed, and the people producing the event couldn't be found. I decided to make the best of what seemed to be a 'bad' situation, and I set up my video camera, got on stage, turned up the microphone, and just started doing what I came to do. I pulled everyone at the show out on to the floor and started teaching and bringing some energy into the room. While it was a small turnout, I took advantage of the experience and had a lot of fun. God bless the older couple that hung out at the front of the stage the entire time I was up there, as if I was a rockstar and they were pumping their fists and hooping and hollering for me the entire 40 minutes. We all need those people to get us through. Where ever you are, my groupy couple - thank you. You kept me going.

When I finished, I found that anyone who had come out on the floor to workout with me, flocked to me for my video and autograph. While it wasn't what I had been promised (by any means), the experience on day 1 was fun and I was happy with myself for seeing how I could take lemons and make lemonade.

On day two, half of the vendors didn't return, and most of the talent flew home (some the big names that arrived were threatening to sue!). The show seemed even more 'shanty' than the day before. But again, I got on stage and did what I came to do. My life motto has been to make a difference to the lives of others - so whether that is 3 people or 300,000. They all count.

Afterwards, I had the same small flow of 'fans' asking for videos and autographs. I had kept my DVDs in my car as I would be going to the airport after I finished and so all of my luggage was in my rental car. I went out to my rental car to get a few videos and I had an eerie feeling. Something didn't feel right. I had parked in the secure, covered lot attached to the Dallas Convention Center. I had parked close to the doors I had walked into - and hadn't thought much about it. When I got to my rental car, I found it had been broken into and all of my inventory, cameras, computers, clothing, jewelry.... gone.

I called the police and they came and said my car had been parked from the 1 angle in the garage that the security cameras couldn't reach. They said that it was common for thieves to camp out in garages on Sundays, as they know this is the last day of a show and most people working a show will have their luggage... an ideal day to steal out of cars. So- I just so happened to park in the wrong spot, at the wrong time, and - all of my stuff was gone. I went back inside and told the other vendors (in case they wanted to check their cars) and they came up with all of these conspiracy theories on how the whole weekend had been a scam and my car had been broken into by the same scam artists that got us to come to the show in the first place.

Deciding not to spend time in this negative thought, I left the show, got into my rental car, bagless, and drove to the airport. I remember feeling numb. I wanted to cry, but I also couldn't believe what had happened. Not only had it not been my 'big break' in terms of getting discovered, but it was a 'big break' to my possessions - everything I had for my business (that I had built over two years) and my favorite jewelry, clothing etc, was gone. Somehow, I remained calm, saying over and over again, 'it's just stuff, Julie... it's just stuff.'

It wasn't until I got to the airport check-in and the friendly airline woman asked me if I had any bags to check, that I started to cry. She had to be so surprised - I may have been the first person on Earth who broke down in tears at the asking of that question. But, I quickly pulled myself together, smiled and told her I had just 'had a moment' but was now fine.

During my flight home, I thought about what happened... Was this a sign? Was I a fool to think I was going to get that big break? I would now have to start over again with my business. The idea felt a bit exhausting and I had no idea where I would get the money to do that... I had spent my savings over the past 2 years starting my company, buying my equipment, contracting with video production companies, shooting my videos, hiring distribution centers to fill my orders, working with graphic designers to build my brand and make my posters, DVD covers, banners, website logos etc. It felt like it was all gone.

Was this a way of God telling me I was off track and shouldn't pursue this dream? Was I forcing something that wasn't meant to be?

I asked myself those questions a good portion of the flight back. And you know, the funny thing is, every time I asked one of those questions, my soul, my heart and my head all immediately answered in unison, 'Nope. You're fine. Just keep going. This is what you were meant to do. It's just a stumble, not an ending'. I actually heard myself say, 'I know this event will make my business even better'.

Two years later, I have shot 8 more videos, am on tap to shoot 5 more in the near future, am writing a book, have shot commercials for products and events, am a spokeperson and ambassador for various health philanthropies and fitness initiatives and have been in over 15 other fitness shows and conferences that were actually legitimate.

As I look back, I realize, that the 'Dallas' pitfall helped me to see how committed I was to my dream. If I was wishy-washy about it, I would have quit and moved on to another passion or idea. But I knew, without waiver, that this is what I am supposed to do in my life. Showing others how fabulous fitness can feel is what I am here for... if anything, the pitfall just made me want it more. (And don't get me wrong, while my business has taken off, I still have a long ways to go to reach my goals and dreams for it. But, I know what I want, and I know it is possible.)

So, I challenge you, to see the small hurdles and missteps in your life as blessings. They help you to decide how bad you really want something. Those brick walls are there to be overcome. You just have to decide you are up for the challenge. And, then... enjoy the journey and all of the bumps and turns along the way.

And, when you get the chance, find a way to be that rockstar groupy in the front row, pumping your fists and hooping and hollering for someone else who is on their journey. My groupy couple kept me on that stage. They have no idea what their energy did for me that day. So, go give your hoops and hollers to someone. You will make all the difference.

If Today Was Your Last Day

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

Would you call old friends you never see?

Reminisce of memories

Would you forgive your enemies?

Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you finally fall in love

If today was your last day -Nickelback

If you found out that today was your last day, what would you do? The lyrics above ask some intringuing questions. The intrigue doesn't come from acting on those notions, but on the fact that it takes something as dramatic as thinking that today is your last day on earth to conjure up the ability, desire and/or confidence to live life to the fullest.

Why don't we do these things, with the hope that tomorrow isn't our last day? What if we did all of these things today?

• Could you let go of your past? Can you move forward in your life and not look back?
• Could you give away more than you keep; would you help someone else in need just because...
• Would you get back in touch with someone you've been meaning to call and talk for hours about the times you had together, laughing and then wondering how you ever lost touch?
• Would you go out on a limb and be open to meeting the right person that actually could bring you happiness in your life?
• Would you allow yourself to fall madly in love without hesitation, reservation or referring back to the past to predict how you choose to act/feel?

Imagine if you even did half of those things tomorrow... what an amazing day it would be! Do you realize you have this ability? You can make your day come alive! Don't wait for dramatic news to inspire to live out the things in your life that are important. Today is all we are certain of - right here, right now. You have this one moment, and that is the only thing we know for sure. Who knows what the moment next will bring.

So, take this moment, and go do something incredible with it.

Let go of the past. Forgive yourself. Set a new goal. Reach out to an old friend. Inspire a stranger. Give to someone unexpectedly. Open your heart to love. Love fearlessly. Love fully. Love as if you can't be hurt or rejected. Love someone. Love yourself. Love your life. Accept your life. Live your life as if this is your one chance to get it right.

Now go on, this one moment is all we have - go live it to it's fullest.

Get Knocked to Your Knees & Rise Up - Victorious!

The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it. - Vince Lombardi

I had the opportunity to attend a luncheon last week that honored Santonio Holmes and Dick LaBeau. I was thrilled to see Santonio Holmes speak - he went to the Ohio State University and played on the National Championship team the same time I was in grad school (at OSU). He went on to play for the Steelers and made the winning touchdown in the Superbowl for the Steelers in 2009.

Surpisingly to me, while I enjoyed seeing Santonio very much - it was Dick LaBeau that brought tears to my eyes.

Dick began by telling us his of experience playing for Woody Hayes at the Ohio State University in the late 1950s. He went on to play for the Detroit Lions for 14 years, and then would spend the next 36 years being the assistance coach for various NFL teams. He explained that he was fired 5 times throughout his career and would continue to move on to the next opportunity, hopeful to have a career high with his next position. At the age of 65, the Buffalo Bills 'let him go' and it was at that point in time when most people are expected to 'retire' and move on to the next stage of life. Dick said he didn't feel ready to do that. While he had pressure and encouragement to 'let go' of coaching and just enjoy his life, he accepted an assistant coaching position with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He has spent the last five years with the Steelers and in those 5 years, he has won 2 AFC Championships and 2 Superbowls. This is more than he had won in the previous 30+ years of coaching combined.

His message to us was this: 'Don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. If you believe in something, go for it. If you get knocked down, get back up. If I would have listened to what everyone else told me to do, or if I would have questioned if I was a good coach because I was 'let go' throughout my entire career, I would have missed out on some of the greatest moments in my coaching life. I believed I was meant to do something and I stayed committed to that passion, despite getting knocked down.'

So I challenge you this week - don't settle for what you have come to know as 'what you are supposed to do'. Shake it up. Be daring. Listen to that inner voice that tells you to go after that thing you really want. We all fall. We all fail. We all get knocked down. We all have choices to keep going in pursuit of our dreams or to give up and move on to some other stage in life. I challenge you to decide what you want and continue. Expect pitfalls, challenge the hurdles. The roadblocks and mountains in your way are only there so you can climb over them. Decide what waits for you up top and begin your journey up. After all, the best moments of your life are just up ahead.

Love, Hope and Try - The Great Risks!

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Author Unknown

Do you go after what you really want? Do you admit how you truly feel? To you put yourself out there, at the possibility of falling flat? If you answered no to any of these, I challenge you this week, to come alive, and decide what it is that you really want.

Have you ever chosen not to love someone because you thought they wouldn't love you back? Have you ever been afraid to fall in love because you knew it might hurt too much when it didn't work out? If you haven't, well then you don't know all the facets of love. Love is not conditional on a two way street. Love comes from liking that person, from the inside out -without the expectation that they will feel the same way. Of course, when it is reciprocated, well, then - you have found that thing we all seek. But, if it isn't returned, 'Love is never lost if not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.' Love is one of those things that doesn't disappear, it just may come back to you in a different form than you thought. Be open to seeing it in a different shape or form than you pictured it.

Do you hope for things that seem a little 'daydreamer-ish?' Or, does that idea sound foolish? Does the idea of being disappointed by your dream not coming true keep you from having it in the first place? If so, I challenge you to get out there and dream, and dream big. 'If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll land amongst the stars.'

And finally, do you try for something, knowing it could fail, or do you stay safe and not leave your comfort zone? Always doing what you always did will always get you what you always got. The only way you will see more out of yourself, life and others is to put yourself out there and try. When you fail, fail big and get right back up and go again. Life is not a series of steady, easy, smooth decisions that create an even-keeled life. Life is about getting out there and loving as if you can't be hurt, dreaming as if there are no boundaries to your success and trying as if you couldn't fail.

Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!