What Happens When You Get What You Want...

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live".

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Each week, I never know what I am going to write about. I wait for the message to show up, through a conversation I had with a friend, an experience I saw first-hand or some other form of inspiration that shows up on my doorstep. If there is ever a week that goes by that I don't post something, it is because I didn't feel any special message I felt authentic about sharing. I won't write just to write - I have to feel like there is something I am inspired to let the world know about and hope that there is someone, somewhere, that needed those words at that very moment.

This week, my message comes from the most unsuspecting conversation. I had my high school reunion this week and a group of us met on Sunday (most were still sleeping off the previous two days of reunion celebrating) and played a round of golf. The group had great chemistry, and seemed to laugh more than play.

Throughout the day, we would all swap carts so we could talk to those who we hadn't spent time with yet. Each time we did, I seemed to learn something interesting or inspiring from each person. One person helped me improve my golf game and talked about a new project he is taking on through his business; one talked about 'how to know when you are in the right relationship'; one talked of a recent heart break but a positive mindset; another talked about his time in the middle east fighting for our country; another talked about her goals for 2009. I felt like the theme 'everyone has a story' rang true. Every single person had an interesting story to tell. When I got to the next cartmate, I simply said, 'so tell me about you'. His response is what I choose to write about today.

He started off by saying he had to loose everything, to get what he wanted. Puzzled, I asked him to explain. He mentioned that he used to have a great job, great life, everything was.... great... but he really wanted to meet the right girl. He prayed and asked for God to bring her into his life. Ironically, God did. My friend met the most amazing girl whom he fell in love with immediately. His prayer had been answered.

While one prayer was answered, the other areas of his life that had been so great, crumbled slightly. He lost his job, he moved in with his dad to help him for a while... life as he knew it changed dramatically. I paused and then reacted by telling him how sorry I was to hear this.

But, his response was what left me in awe.

He said, 'don't be sorry, my prayer was answered. I got what I wanted. I asked for God to bring me the love of my life and He has. This other stuff is just stuff. I am rebuilding my life now and slowly but surely, all of the pieces are coming together. But most importantly, I got what I asked for... The rest will just fall in place.'

I was so inspired by his attitude. He knew exactly what he wanted and despite losing other things in his life, he was grateful that God had answered his prayer and he knew it would all work out. He had his priorities in order, he trusted himself and he knew he would be ok. He focused on what he had in his life vs. what he didn't have...

How many times have we had a wonderful opportunity to seize, but we spend so much time staring at what we wish we had or what we lost, that we miss out on what is right in front of us? I've had this trip me up many times.

You have to know what you want, what you are ok with not having and trust yourself that knowing these things will get you through the good and tough times.

I challenge you this week, to focus on what you want, understand what you can live without, and then trust yourself to move forward with these priorities. There are few times in life when all pins line up in a row for us, but if we can be clear on the ones that matter the most , we will know how to stay grateful and positive, even when going through a difficult time.

And my friend... he's getting ready to move to Europe to be with the love of his life. Not too bad of an outcome, I'd say.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Just be ready for it when it comes!

How To Never Fail

Would you like the secret to never failing? What if you could learn how to never make a mistake, never take the wrong turn, never say the wrong thing? If there was a way you could guarantee to always have a smooth and easy path, would you want to know?

Well, then I have the answers for you. There are two ways to achieve the above. You may chose one, or the other.

1.) In the words of one of my fitness industry friends & mentor, Kimberly Spreen, 'Do Nothing'. That's right. 'Do Nothing'. In order to never make a mistake, say a wrong word, or turn the wrong way, you must simply never speak, act or do anything. How can you possibly make a mistake if you aren't doing anything? Ok, ok - the point is that there is no way we can ever live where we don't occasionally say something we wish we wouldn't have, or turn right when the directions said straight. These things are just a part of our journey and how we learn.

2.) The true way we can make sure we are always confident with how we speak, act and live is to change how we view the situation. Instead of seeing it as a mistake or failure, see it as a stepping stone to greater understanding of yourself, your journey and your life. Here are some examples of people who thought they were off course at the time, and then realized there was a greater reason why:

• Consider the people who were running late for work at the World Trade Center on 9/11.
• Think about the person who developed the 'Post It'. He discovered the concept after trying to make a new form of glue. The glue didn't work, but the post-it note has now made him a millionaire.
• Imagine 'finding love' when panicking over turning the 'wrong way'. A friend of mine got lost and was late for an appointment and had to stop to ask for directions when she met the man who became her husband.

I've heard leaders say time and again, 'My greatest mistake turned into my greatest success'. Instead of seeing your mistakes, missteps and rough times as failures, I challenge you this week to choose to see them as windows to new adventures, learnings and experiences. Keep your mindset positive and open. Try not to be stuck on what you thought you wanted to do, be or say, but be open to what comes into your life.

'The Last Lecture' author, Randy Pausch, said in his speech, 'Experience is what we get when we don't get what we want.' That experience is typically more valuable than what we had hoped for in our original quest.

'There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be Patient.' -Sri Swami Satchidananda

Here's to your road ahead - may it be positively bumpy, may it have turns you didn't expect and may you end up at a castle far greater than you ever dreamed of...

Brick Walls Are There On Purpose

''Brick Walls' are there to stop the people that don't want it badly enough.'

- Randy Pausch

A few years ago, I had what I felt would be my first big break. A talent scout from NYC called me and told me he would pay for me to fly to Dallas to teach at a fitness show. The 'gig' consisted of me teaching on stage 3 times during a 2 day show, in which 90,000 people were expected to attend. He said his agency picks 1-2 'up-and-comers' in the fitness industry to support and rally behind. His agency had come across my portfolio and they had selected me. I checked out their website and the show's website and it seemed legitimate, and so I signed on.

I couldn't have been more excited. This was the start of what I had dreamed of... I went shopping and bought 5 new fitness outfits, packed my best business suits (he told me I would be going to dinners with agents and other 'important' people), I took my computers, video cameras, full inventory of my fitness videos, posters etc.

Upon arrival, I found that the fitness show had not been promoted, and while there were a lot of vendors, there weren't any people in attendance. The vendors were livid, the 'talent' (the group I was in) that was to perform was annoyed, and the people producing the event couldn't be found. I decided to make the best of what seemed to be a 'bad' situation, and I set up my video camera, got on stage, turned up the microphone, and just started doing what I came to do. I pulled everyone at the show out on to the floor and started teaching and bringing some energy into the room. While it was a small turnout, I took advantage of the experience and had a lot of fun. God bless the older couple that hung out at the front of the stage the entire time I was up there, as if I was a rockstar and they were pumping their fists and hooping and hollering for me the entire 40 minutes. We all need those people to get us through. Where ever you are, my groupy couple - thank you. You kept me going.

When I finished, I found that anyone who had come out on the floor to workout with me, flocked to me for my video and autograph. While it wasn't what I had been promised (by any means), the experience on day 1 was fun and I was happy with myself for seeing how I could take lemons and make lemonade.

On day two, half of the vendors didn't return, and most of the talent flew home (some the big names that arrived were threatening to sue!). The show seemed even more 'shanty' than the day before. But again, I got on stage and did what I came to do. My life motto has been to make a difference to the lives of others - so whether that is 3 people or 300,000. They all count.

Afterwards, I had the same small flow of 'fans' asking for videos and autographs. I had kept my DVDs in my car as I would be going to the airport after I finished and so all of my luggage was in my rental car. I went out to my rental car to get a few videos and I had an eerie feeling. Something didn't feel right. I had parked in the secure, covered lot attached to the Dallas Convention Center. I had parked close to the doors I had walked into - and hadn't thought much about it. When I got to my rental car, I found it had been broken into and all of my inventory, cameras, computers, clothing, jewelry.... gone.

I called the police and they came and said my car had been parked from the 1 angle in the garage that the security cameras couldn't reach. They said that it was common for thieves to camp out in garages on Sundays, as they know this is the last day of a show and most people working a show will have their luggage... an ideal day to steal out of cars. So- I just so happened to park in the wrong spot, at the wrong time, and - all of my stuff was gone. I went back inside and told the other vendors (in case they wanted to check their cars) and they came up with all of these conspiracy theories on how the whole weekend had been a scam and my car had been broken into by the same scam artists that got us to come to the show in the first place.

Deciding not to spend time in this negative thought, I left the show, got into my rental car, bagless, and drove to the airport. I remember feeling numb. I wanted to cry, but I also couldn't believe what had happened. Not only had it not been my 'big break' in terms of getting discovered, but it was a 'big break' to my possessions - everything I had for my business (that I had built over two years) and my favorite jewelry, clothing etc, was gone. Somehow, I remained calm, saying over and over again, 'it's just stuff, Julie... it's just stuff.'

It wasn't until I got to the airport check-in and the friendly airline woman asked me if I had any bags to check, that I started to cry. She had to be so surprised - I may have been the first person on Earth who broke down in tears at the asking of that question. But, I quickly pulled myself together, smiled and told her I had just 'had a moment' but was now fine.

During my flight home, I thought about what happened... Was this a sign? Was I a fool to think I was going to get that big break? I would now have to start over again with my business. The idea felt a bit exhausting and I had no idea where I would get the money to do that... I had spent my savings over the past 2 years starting my company, buying my equipment, contracting with video production companies, shooting my videos, hiring distribution centers to fill my orders, working with graphic designers to build my brand and make my posters, DVD covers, banners, website logos etc. It felt like it was all gone.

Was this a way of God telling me I was off track and shouldn't pursue this dream? Was I forcing something that wasn't meant to be?

I asked myself those questions a good portion of the flight back. And you know, the funny thing is, every time I asked one of those questions, my soul, my heart and my head all immediately answered in unison, 'Nope. You're fine. Just keep going. This is what you were meant to do. It's just a stumble, not an ending'. I actually heard myself say, 'I know this event will make my business even better'.

Two years later, I have shot 8 more videos, am on tap to shoot 5 more in the near future, am writing a book, have shot commercials for products and events, am a spokeperson and ambassador for various health philanthropies and fitness initiatives and have been in over 15 other fitness shows and conferences that were actually legitimate.

As I look back, I realize, that the 'Dallas' pitfall helped me to see how committed I was to my dream. If I was wishy-washy about it, I would have quit and moved on to another passion or idea. But I knew, without waiver, that this is what I am supposed to do in my life. Showing others how fabulous fitness can feel is what I am here for... if anything, the pitfall just made me want it more. (And don't get me wrong, while my business has taken off, I still have a long ways to go to reach my goals and dreams for it. But, I know what I want, and I know it is possible.)

So, I challenge you, to see the small hurdles and missteps in your life as blessings. They help you to decide how bad you really want something. Those brick walls are there to be overcome. You just have to decide you are up for the challenge. And, then... enjoy the journey and all of the bumps and turns along the way.

And, when you get the chance, find a way to be that rockstar groupy in the front row, pumping your fists and hooping and hollering for someone else who is on their journey. My groupy couple kept me on that stage. They have no idea what their energy did for me that day. So, go give your hoops and hollers to someone. You will make all the difference.

A Treadmill For Two

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had. "~ Unknown

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. "~ Grace Pulpit

As my cycle class was about to begin, a couple walked in. Quiet, smiling, they didn't make any disruption and went right over to some bikes that had been set up. If I hadn't been looking down I would have never noticed the dog that accompanied them. Perfectly behaved, the dog quietly led his owner through the dark room and to her bike. Then, he laid down and watched her cycle, without moving his gaze away from her for one second. As the music pumped, the energy got higher, and the lights flickered in the room, the dog's focus was on her and her alone.

After class, I asked the couple how their ride was and they gave some positive feedback and then I asked, 'was the music ok for him?' and pointed to the dog, a beautiful brown retriever. I had been worried that the music was too loud. They laughed and said, 'no, Happy is used to loud music'. The owner then let me know that she has had Happy for 1.5 years and the dog does everything with her. As she spoke, Happy kept close to her knee and rubbed it with his nose, from time to time, as if to let her know he was there.

She then said, 'in fact, the first time I tried to get on a treadmill, Happy, whose focus is to keep me safe', tried to get on the treadmill too, but it was akward because there wasn't enough room. Happy kept trying because he wanted to be by my side.'

I laughed but inside, my heart swelled to think of how sweet it was that the dog kept trying to get on the treadmill to walk with his mom to protect & guide her. I thought about how unconditional Happy was to his owner. It didn't matter what she was attempting or if he had been trained to know how to do it - whether laying in a cycle class next to his mom riding a stationary bike or attempting to walk on the treadmill with his mom, so that she felt guided and protected, he was always there.

I debated on if I had shown that same level of love for my friends and family. And, I thought about the friends who had show'd that same level of love for me.

How about you? Are you there for someone when they can't see for themselves? Do you go out of your comfort zone to be by their side? Do you gently 'nudge' them to remind them you are there, by calling them, holding their hand or putting your arm around them?

I challenge you this week to 'get on that treadmill' with a good friend. Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone... sit and listen... have patience... be there, even when inconvenient or difficult.

It isn't just the friends that show up for the party; but moreso, it's the friends who stand by your side and love you unconditionally that help to 'see' all that your life can be.

I think Happy's owner may actually 'see' more in life than most people with perfect vision.

So now, go on, get on that moving treadmill.

Live Your Life On Purpose

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ... 'Wow! What a ride!'"

I believe that children are smarter than adults in many ways. They understand what it means to live their lives on purpose... They believe in the power of the impossible. They don't take no for an answer. They find joy in simple things. They laugh a lot. They don't mind being silly. They take chances because they don't understand the concept of failure. They know what makes them happy and they spend most of their time focusing on those things. Everything they do - they do, on purpose - to be happy.

As we get older, we rationalize and define the concept of 'impossible' things. When told no, we walk away. We over-analyze situations to try to find happiness vs. looking right in front of us. We tend to spend a lot of time just being 'status quo'. We look around to see who's watching before we allow ourselves to be silly. We don't take chances because we fear failure. We have no idea what makes us happy and spend a lot of time chasing the wrong concepts. Instead of living each day on purpose, many of us find ways to live each day, just going with the flow.

Many of us get caught up in living to make money. We think when we are richer, we will be happier. While I confess that financial abundance is a goal of mine, I also know it will not bring me happiness on it's own. Some of the poorest people have the greatest joys in life, while some of the wealthiest are the poorest in spirit.

Take for example, a study that was done and written about by Whitley Strieber in 'Money Really doesn't Buy Happiness'. On a scale of 1-7 where 1 means 'not at all satisfied with my life' and 7 means 'completely satisfied', the Forbes 400 richest Americans average a 5.8. This is the exact same average as the cattle-herding Masai people of Kenya, who live in dung huts without electricity or running water.

For your weekly challenge, I dare you to embrace the concept of living your life intentionally. Decide one thing you want to have happen this week and make sure prior to the week's end, that you made it happen. Chose to spend more time with your friends. Chose to take a risk that scares you once a day. Laugh by yourself. Chose to understand what will make you happy, and go for it. Forget the words impossible or failure. Live out loud. Live Your Life On Purpose.

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand

'Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself, and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams...' -Paul Coelho (from The Alchemist)

'The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.' -Jacques Benigne Bossuel

'Once you have loved, You will always love. For what's in your mind may escape, but what's in your heart will remain forever. There is no instinct like that of the heart.' -Lord Byron

Celebrate the week of the heart!

Between honoring National Heart Disease Awareness Day (Go Red!) and Valentine's Day (Go Love!), this is a special week to focus on taking care of your heart. You can do this by making a sincere effort to: exercise, eat well, follow a passion and/or love someone. All of these things help to keep the heart in it's best shape - happy and healthy!

I chose to start off this message with the quotes above because they all come back to the same idea. The heart will drive us to our best moments. Following our heart - even when scary or uncertain - brings us our greatest riches. The feelings the heart produces are far more amazing than anything else we are capable of... they bring us our greatest joy.

This week, I challenge to stop being afraid of what your heart tells you and follow your passion. Take a chance. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Love someone without expecting them to love you back. Suggest a new idea that sounds crazy. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and open your soul to listen to what your heart is asking for... it will tell you very clearly what it needs, wants and loves. You just have to listen for it.

So, how will you take care of your heart this week? Loving someone doesn't take much - a simple gesture will do. You have no idea how much one small moment of affection can do for someone else. You could change their entire day. So what is stopping you? Go after that heart of yours!

'Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart....' -Unknown.

My Message is My Life

My message is my life. - Mahatma Gandhi

This weekend I talked with a friend of mine who wanted to discuss how we know what our purpose in life is... it is always an interesting question to consider. I am not one to claim to have the answer, but I do have a few ideas.

So often, we spend time focusing on what huge impact we can have - some enormous purpose to existing. But I ask you to pause for a moment and then name the last 5 Nobel Peace Prize winners. Or perhaps, 5 Senators from your state or the current top 10 Best Selling Novelists.

Perhaps you can, but more likely, you cannot.

Now I ask you to name your 5 favorite teachers, your 5 greatest friends and your 5 strongest role models. The point to this little exercise is to prove that people don't remember those who won a fancy award or prize, they remember the people who were there for them, touched their hearts and influenced their life for the better.

So that is our purpose. To learn from our lessons to help others have a lighter road, to be open to new experiences, to find passion in the things we love and to love as if there was no such thing as being hurt.

When we start to feel off-track in life, that is just our heart taking the steering wheel and telling us to head in a different direction. It is important to pay attention to these times (and we all have them, so don't worry), because they can be the wind in our sails that drive us right to discovering 'our purpose'. When we are following our hearts, finding our simple joys, being there for others - then we have found our purpose. It's not a moment. It's not a major award. It is how we choose to live in each moment.

My message is my life.. Such a fabulous way to say - everything I do, every day of my life, is what I leave behind. So make sure you leave behind exactly what you want to. You have the ability to leave an imprint on this world anyway you want. What will your imprint be?