Live Your Life On Purpose

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ... 'Wow! What a ride!'"

I believe that children are smarter than adults in many ways. They understand what it means to live their lives on purpose... They believe in the power of the impossible. They don't take no for an answer. They find joy in simple things. They laugh a lot. They don't mind being silly. They take chances because they don't understand the concept of failure. They know what makes them happy and they spend most of their time focusing on those things. Everything they do - they do, on purpose - to be happy.

As we get older, we rationalize and define the concept of 'impossible' things. When told no, we walk away. We over-analyze situations to try to find happiness vs. looking right in front of us. We tend to spend a lot of time just being 'status quo'. We look around to see who's watching before we allow ourselves to be silly. We don't take chances because we fear failure. We have no idea what makes us happy and spend a lot of time chasing the wrong concepts. Instead of living each day on purpose, many of us find ways to live each day, just going with the flow.

Many of us get caught up in living to make money. We think when we are richer, we will be happier. While I confess that financial abundance is a goal of mine, I also know it will not bring me happiness on it's own. Some of the poorest people have the greatest joys in life, while some of the wealthiest are the poorest in spirit.

Take for example, a study that was done and written about by Whitley Strieber in 'Money Really doesn't Buy Happiness'. On a scale of 1-7 where 1 means 'not at all satisfied with my life' and 7 means 'completely satisfied', the Forbes 400 richest Americans average a 5.8. This is the exact same average as the cattle-herding Masai people of Kenya, who live in dung huts without electricity or running water.

For your weekly challenge, I dare you to embrace the concept of living your life intentionally. Decide one thing you want to have happen this week and make sure prior to the week's end, that you made it happen. Chose to spend more time with your friends. Chose to take a risk that scares you once a day. Laugh by yourself. Chose to understand what will make you happy, and go for it. Forget the words impossible or failure. Live out loud. Live Your Life On Purpose.

The Reasons People Come & Go

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. - Anonymous

Have you ever met someone who made such an impact that when they exited your life, you felt a painful loss? Have you found yourself saying, 'Maybe it would have been better not to know them at all - it hurts too much to loose them now?'

I can think of several people that have come into my life and profoundly changed it for the better, and then disappeared as quickly as they came. Selfishly, I've found myself saddened and thinking about how much I wished they could stay longer. The disappearance didn't make sense. Why would something so wonderful have to come to an end? Why do some of the best things seem to only have a season? I don't know all the answers, but I do believe people come into your life with several different intentions.

One, is for a Reason. Perhaps you are at a point in your life that needs that person's experience, love, or energy to help you through it. I remember coming out of a tough relationship and not being sure what I felt about anything. Someone came into my life at that point and reminded me about who I was, what I wanted in my life, and who I wanted in my life. Since that point - they have disappeared from my day-to-day living, but what they did for me was unforgettable. I am forever grateful that they came into my life when they did. The only way I know how to repay them is to not loose sight of the gifts they brought to my life and perhaps - pay forward those gifts to someone else who is in need, as I was...

Others come into your life for a Season. Our lives all change course at points and times. I can think of my friends from high school, college, and now... some are the same - but some of us have gone in different directions and have drifted apart. That doesn't make the memories of what we shared together any less significant. I think back to the girls I lived with in college. All of us were full of hope for our lives, excited to 'meet the right guy', 'figure out what we wanted to do in life' and most importantly 'wanted to enjoy being young and free'. Now, many of those friends are now married, with kids, living in different states/countries, living very different lives. But the memories of that 'season' will forever linger in my heart.

And finally - a Lifetime. If we are lucky enough to meet a few people that spend a lifetime with us, we are truly blessed. These are the people that know us inside and out and still love us. At our best - at our worst, they would stand by us in our greatest celebrations and most difficult moments. A lifetime friend is a special person that we don't know why we are so blessed to have them, but we know we couldn't get through life without them by our side. I believe you know almost immediately when you meet a lifetime friend. There is a certain connection you make - perhaps with your soul, your energy, your heart - it is an undefinable, unexplainable friendship that can only be understood as a gift in your life.

For this week's challenge. I ask you to consider the following: We all have lost people in our lives that we wished had stayed 'a season longer'. Instead of focusing on 'why they left' - I challenge you to focus on, 'why they came' . I think you will find that you have been touched by people who were there for a reason and because of them - your life is better. When you are touched by those who were there for a season, you can look back at a point in life and smile at the memory. And, those lifetime friends. They help us stay focused on what our life journey is all about... the best is yet to come!

Reason, Season or Lifetime. All gifts. All purposeful. Your life is better because of each of them. Let go of the past and focus on the current season and enjoy every second of it. And make sure you tell your 'reason' friends just what they've done for you. I think I'll be making a phone call tomorrow.

Inside-Out Challenge

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful. -Scott Westerfeld

'Chris'

I walked into the hospital room to visit 'Chris'. He was a younger boy that I had mentored, and had fallen ill with a terminal disease. When I first met him, he was a physically striking young man -the heartthrob of all the high school girls. He lit up the room with his personality. I had been told to prepare myself because I wouldn't recognize him. The disease had caused him to loose limbs, swell with 85 lbs of water weight, break out in a horrible rash, and loose his hair. I walked into the room, expecting the worse.

I want you to take a moment here to consider what you think you would feel?

I expected to feel sorry for him and be sad. But, he made that almost impossible. As soon as I walked in, Chris' smile lit up the room. He cracked a joke, and gave me a hug. I spent about an hour with him that day and I remember forgetting all about those physical conditions. It was just him... just me - hanging out, cracking jokes and telling stories...just like always. And, when I asked him how he was 'handling everything' - he looked at me for a minute as if he wasn't sure what I meant. I then said, 'I know you wanted to be a professional athlete', and he didn't miss a beat and simply replied, 'Oh yeah, I will just play for a paraplegic team'. And made a bat swing in the air and smiled.

Chris' ability to see his inner beauty taught me more than he will probably ever know. How many times have I lost confidence in myself due to something completely unimportant? And, more significantly, how many times have I missed out on knowing someone fabulous (like Chris) because of some external stereotype or ignorance?

'Kurtis and Brenda'

Then there's Kurtis and Brenda... Kurtis(22) was a younger stock boy at the grocery store, Brenda was a cashier(26). Kurtis asked Brenda out on a date and she kept telling him no, 'it would be impossible'. Kurtis persisted and she finally let him know she had two kids and couldn't afford a babysitter. He offered to pay for the sitter.

The night he showed up, she said she couldn't go, the sitter had cancelled. Kurtis suggested they take the kids to dinner with them. Brenda let Kurtis in to show him that she had a daughter and a younger son. The younger son was in a wheelchair. Brenda assumed he would leave at that point, but Kurtis saw no issue. They went to dinner and had a wonderful time. Kurtis took great care of her son, and even picked him up and carried him when he had to go to the bathroom. Kurtis and Brenda continued to date and eventually got married. They are now Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner. (Kurt Warner was the QB for the Arizona Cardinals and took them to the Superbowl and won the NFL's MVP twice).

Kurt's ability to see inner beauty brought him what he now considers his greatest joy. He has mentioned many times in his press conferences that his family far outweighs any Superbowl win, ring or game.

I challenge you this week to make an effort to get to know someone you normally wouldn't; sit and listen to someone's story you haven't given a chance before. Try seeing someone from the inside-out.

You never know - maybe you'll meet someone who will change your life in ways you can't even imagine...

People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. -Salma Hayek

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand

'Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself, and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams...' -Paul Coelho (from The Alchemist)

'The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.' -Jacques Benigne Bossuel

'Once you have loved, You will always love. For what's in your mind may escape, but what's in your heart will remain forever. There is no instinct like that of the heart.' -Lord Byron

Celebrate the week of the heart!

Between honoring National Heart Disease Awareness Day (Go Red!) and Valentine's Day (Go Love!), this is a special week to focus on taking care of your heart. You can do this by making a sincere effort to: exercise, eat well, follow a passion and/or love someone. All of these things help to keep the heart in it's best shape - happy and healthy!

I chose to start off this message with the quotes above because they all come back to the same idea. The heart will drive us to our best moments. Following our heart - even when scary or uncertain - brings us our greatest riches. The feelings the heart produces are far more amazing than anything else we are capable of... they bring us our greatest joy.

This week, I challenge to stop being afraid of what your heart tells you and follow your passion. Take a chance. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Love someone without expecting them to love you back. Suggest a new idea that sounds crazy. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and open your soul to listen to what your heart is asking for... it will tell you very clearly what it needs, wants and loves. You just have to listen for it.

So, how will you take care of your heart this week? Loving someone doesn't take much - a simple gesture will do. You have no idea how much one small moment of affection can do for someone else. You could change their entire day. So what is stopping you? Go after that heart of yours!

'Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart....' -Unknown.

My Message is My Life

My message is my life. - Mahatma Gandhi

This weekend I talked with a friend of mine who wanted to discuss how we know what our purpose in life is... it is always an interesting question to consider. I am not one to claim to have the answer, but I do have a few ideas.

So often, we spend time focusing on what huge impact we can have - some enormous purpose to existing. But I ask you to pause for a moment and then name the last 5 Nobel Peace Prize winners. Or perhaps, 5 Senators from your state or the current top 10 Best Selling Novelists.

Perhaps you can, but more likely, you cannot.

Now I ask you to name your 5 favorite teachers, your 5 greatest friends and your 5 strongest role models. The point to this little exercise is to prove that people don't remember those who won a fancy award or prize, they remember the people who were there for them, touched their hearts and influenced their life for the better.

So that is our purpose. To learn from our lessons to help others have a lighter road, to be open to new experiences, to find passion in the things we love and to love as if there was no such thing as being hurt.

When we start to feel off-track in life, that is just our heart taking the steering wheel and telling us to head in a different direction. It is important to pay attention to these times (and we all have them, so don't worry), because they can be the wind in our sails that drive us right to discovering 'our purpose'. When we are following our hearts, finding our simple joys, being there for others - then we have found our purpose. It's not a moment. It's not a major award. It is how we choose to live in each moment.

My message is my life.. Such a fabulous way to say - everything I do, every day of my life, is what I leave behind. So make sure you leave behind exactly what you want to. You have the ability to leave an imprint on this world anyway you want. What will your imprint be?

Believe In It All The Way

When you believe a thing, believe in it all the way. - Walt Disney

Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that assures the successful outcome of any venture. - William James

You can be anything you want to be. You can have anything you want to have. You can do anything you want to do. The common thread as to why people aren't who they want to be, don't have what they want to have and don't do what they want to do is because they lose their belief in the possibility of it.

Why? Because it is easier to fail. It is easier to give up. It is easier to go with the flow and not be different. It is easier to just be like everyone else. But, in settling for easier, we lose the very sense of what we were put on this earth to do. And, most importantly, we lose the sense of who were are and what brings joy in our lives.

I recently worked with a woman who was in her 70's. She hired me to train her because she wanted to be able to walk with her husband at night. She had tried countless exercise programs and had failed - for over 20 years. She let me know that she has wanted to be her husband's walking partner for those 20 years and each night, just watches him out the window as he takes his walk (and pretends it doesn't bother her). I asked her if she believed she could ever be capable of taking that walk with her husband and she said she did. That belief was all we needed.

Prior to beginning her fitness journey, she could only walk from her house to the car. In addition, she had been taking medication for Diabetes and high blood pressure for 20+ years. Her body fat composition measured well-over 40% bodyfat (30% is considered obese). She had gotten accustomed to living a sedentary life. But she wanted something different for herself. She no longer wanted to watch her husband walk alone. She no longer wanted to be winded walking to the car. She no longer wanted to sit back and watch life pass her by. She believed she could be different.

After six months of intensive conditioning, I just received a phone call from her. She is vacationing in Florida. It is the first time in 20+ years that she got on a plane and took a vacation. She mentioned she has gone off of almost all medication, and is wearing a clothing size she can't remember ever fitting in before...

And most importantly... tonight, their first night on vacation... she and her husband walked the entire resort. She mentioned they hadn't laughed so hard since their first year of dating. She said she felt like a teenager again. And, as they rounded the corner back to the hotel, hand-in-hand, she asked him, 'want to take another lap?' He smiled and told her she was going to wear him out. And, they took that second lap.

The only difference between this time and the previous 20 years of failure was her commitment to believing it was possible.

What do you believe is possible for yourself? What's stopping you?

It's Not the Days... It's the Moments

'We do not remember days, we remember moments'. -Caesare Pavese

As the New Year kicked off, I spent some time in reflection, not only over this past year, but of my life in general. I thought about old friends and new friends, adventures and travels, unexpected joy, and times I laughed until I cried. It dawned on me that it is easy to think about our lives in terms accomplishments. We tend to place value on the successes in life.

I challenge you to consider thinking about your life differently. Think about your life in terms of the moments that have brought you the most joy. It is likely, those moments aren't the ones where you received a degree, got a first job or made a paycheck. Those moments are the ones you make, when you don't realize you are making them - when you are with family, or friends, finding the joy in eachother and appreciating eachother - simply.

When I think of my fondest moment, while I have many, the first one that comes to mind is when when I spent time with a friend. We didn't do anything unique or special. We actually stayed in and watched movies, danced to music off of itunes on our computer and made eachother laugh until we cried by telling stories of our lives. My cheeks hurt for a whole day after... There was nothing significant about this time except for we had found simple joy in spending time together. Whenever I have a down moment, it is easy to think back to watching my friend dance like no one was watching and me falling on the floor - unable to get up because I was laughing so hard. I feel that same joy overwhelm my heart as I did in the actual moment.

It is not significant accomplishments that makes our lives rich - it is those times that bring joy to our hearts, tears to our eyes, and a tireless smile to our faces.

I challenge you this week to consider this ... while goals and accomplishments are great things to inspire us - they are not what makes our lives rich. Spend some time thinking back to the last time you smiled with your eyes, laughed til you hurt, and found simple joy - in the presence of a good friend. These are the things that make our lives.

There are no ordinary moments - so make sure you are able to find the joy in each one.