La Vida

9/11 - Heal The World

2011-09-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

I sat for several hours, trying to type something that would be good enough to express my feelings around the 9/11 remembrance. After hours of typing pages of content, only to 'select all' and then hit, 'delete', it finally dawned on me - there will never be any words that will be good enough to really express the pain, the sadness, the hope, the strength, and the faith that 9/11 represents.

When I watch the stories on all of the children who lost their parents... the spouses who lost their soul mates... the friends who lost their confidants... I search for some sense of 'why' or 'goodness' out of the horrific events. And, while I wish I had an uplifting answer that made some sort of sense of all of the malicious and hateful actions that took place on the day of 9/11 , I usually come up short for the right words. Perhaps you have felt the same way... saddened by the events... wishing you could somehow help to make peace in the world... feeling as if the issues may be far bigger than anything you alone can change or tackle.

As I was reflecting on these thoughts, I heard a song, sang by Kid Rock, called, "Care". It dawned on me that this was exactly the answer I had been seeking. Some of the words are as follows:
I can't stop the war
Shelter homeless, feed the poor
Can't walk on water
I can't save your sons and daughters
I can't change the world and make things fair
The least that I can do,
The least that I can do
The least that I can do is Care.

The truth is that it is our individual actions that will change the world. It isn't some act of Congress. It isn't some balanced budget. It isn't some treaty that is signed. It is the actions of each one of us, starting at an individual level, that will change the energy in the world. I think we wait for our government to save us, or someone higher up to make a good decision to lead us out of the place we are in... but the answer is, it starts with us.

By caring about others... by taking the time to listen... by taking the time to learn about someone else's beliefs, and their culture... by holding the door for a stranger... by smiling to someone on the street... by helping someone without asking for acknowledgement... by creating positive energy in our own space... we will then eventually be able to change the world around us.

Because when you care about someone else, it in turn, usually inspires them to care about someone else in the world, and then they pass it forward... a domino effect happens, and the world because a little more loving... a little more forgiving... and a little more happy.

This concept will never bring back the 3000+ people who lost their lives senselessly during the events of 9/11. This concept will not make the acts of 9/11 right. This concept doesn't make the pain and the hurt of the past any less devastational. But, what this concept does is change the future of our world. By putting a little more positive energy in the world one person at a time, we can shift the pain and hate in the world little by little. It won't happen overnight but eventually, this shift could move mountains and perhaps allow us to understand each other better, and live with less hate and negative energy.

So, I challenge you, in remembrance of 9/11 - to take the time today to sit and listen to someone... hold the door for someone... smile at stranger. You can start to change the energy of the world by making choices to put your positive energy out there. Live with gratitude, speak with kindness, act with a sense of caring and live your life with the intention to leave this world a better place than you entered it. It all starts with you. We can heal the world by starting with one small act of kindness. We can heal the world by caring about each other. We can heal the world.

So what are you waiting for? There's a door that you could be holding for someone right now.

Politics, Chuck Norris and Cody's Wish

2010-11-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

It is a day after mid-term elections in the US. I am not writing to share my viewpoints on politics - I am writing to share my hope for the future.

It seems that the majority of people running for office this year focused their campaigns on taking out expensive ads that made their opponent(s) look bad, not on the content of their own character or what they will do to better the world. I had to spend a great deal of time researching the candidates and their history and beliefs in order for me to make my decisions.

As I was researching each candidate, I found myself hoping to find people who had the strength to stand up to a challenge, and despite knowing they wouldn't always be popular, fight for the things that would help us to move forward. (Not an easy job, for sure!) I didn't want to elect those who saw blame in issues, but moreso, those who saw the opportunity in improving them. As I thought about this, I was reminded of a column written by Chuck Norris this summer. Let me tell you why this column has such significant meaning to me.

(Bear with me through this unusual transition)

I am a wish granter for Make A Wish (which means I volunteer time to work with/grant the wishes of Wish Kids. A few years ago, as I met one of my wish children, I immediately fell in awe of his soul. Cody, who had muscular dystrophy, sped over to me in his wheelchair, nearly knocking me over, telling me how excited he was for my arrival. He was smiling from ear-to-ear. He gave me a hug and had the energy of 10 children in one little body.

I spent hours with his family that day and knew that Cody was a very special 9 year old. Whenever I tried to talk about his illness, he said, 'I'm ok, I worry about my mom, not me'. And then he would turn and play with his siblings, as if he hadn't missed a beat. When it finally got to the point in the visit where I asked Cody what his wish was, he pointed to the cowboy hat he had on, his collection of Walker Texas Ranger DVDs and in his best 'Chuck Norris' voice, said, 'I want to meet Chuck Norris'. I smiled as he talked non-stop about his admiration of Chuck and how great it would be to meet him. When I asked, 'Why Chuck?' He responded, 'Because he can overcome anything!'.

Typically we ask children to have a second option, if their first wish isn't able to be granted (especially with a celebrity wish). He said, "I don't have one."

Two and half years later, after multiple check-ins where I asked if he still wanted to wait for Chuck, we received the phone call that Chuck was honored by his request and invited Cody down to his ranch for a day. Unfortunatley, in that two and a half years, Cody's body had severly weakened. He could no longer give me a hug when I walked in the door, and his high energy had decreased to quiet conversation and jokes. But, despite his drastically different outward appearance, his inner being hadn't changed a bit. His kindness, he love for his mother, his attitude in life -all intact and strong. Maybe even stronger than before.

A week later, Cody went to Chuck's ranch to spend a day with him. Chuck and his wife, Gena, could not have been more gracious and giving. While I wasn't along for the wish, I later watched a video that the Norris family had made for Cody. Everytime I watch it, I am filled with tears. Cody, while he couldn't outwardly show his excitement due to his weakness, was filled with absolute joy on that day. He forgot he was sick for a moment and met one of his greatest heros. One of the details I was most worried about was the fact that Cody had asked if he could ride horses with Chuck. At this point, he was so weak, we didn't think it would be possible. But, Chuck hoisted Cody up on a horse with him and wrapped his arms around him as they walked around his ranch on horseback. To see an angel smiling was to see the look on Cody's face when Chuck held him and they rode. While it was painful for him, it was the time of his life. After horseback riding, whenever they walked to a different part of the ranch, Chuck carried Cody.

When Cody arrived home, he was too weak to give hugs anymore on his own. When he wanted to hug me, his mother had to place his arms around me. While in this 'hug', I asked him what the best part of his wish was... he explained. 'My hero carried me when I wan't strong enough to go it alone.' (If you are a spiritual person, this will have double-meaning to you, as it does me).

So how does this relate back to politics?

I have spoken to groups all over the country about various wishes I have granted... In August, I was in Cleveland talking to a corporation about Make A Wish and shared Cody's wish. While I was waiting to speak, I was placed in the same office as the CEO for the Make A Wish Foundation in the area. She and I talked briefly and I told her which story I would be sharing. She said, 'isn't Cody the boy who passed away a month ago.' While it is tradition for a wish granter to learn of a passing, I had not been told and immediately felt a lump in my throat. She mentioned that Chuck had written a nice column about Cody shortly after his passing. A minute before going on stage to present, I read Chuck's column and was filled with tears (not exactly how I wanted to make my entrance!!)

While I do not write this to promote one political belief or another, I do write this to echo Chuck's comments on Cody in the column. He mentions how we need more leaders in office that demonstrate the same character as Cody. He goes on to describe their friendship and Cody's amazing ability to love the world, despite his crippling disease.

Sometimes we get so caught up in this busy and complicated world, that we forget the importance of getting back to basics, being honest, being thoughtful, and starting to change the world, by caring about the world. Caring about others, and believing that we can become what we want to be. Cody was an incredibly strong young man, who never complained about the cards he drew in life, he just wanted to embrace the blessings he had. He didn't blame anyone or anything for his challenges. He just accepted them and moved forward.

If you'd like to read what Chuck had to say about Cody, you can find his column by clicking here.

We need more 'Codys' in the world - in leadership, in friendship, and in life. I hope you will think of this story the next time you decide who you choose to follow as a leader, and how you decide to get through life's challenges. It's about moving forward and finding opportunity, not blame.

...and while Cody shared that Chuck was his hero, my guess is that Cody is also Chuck's.

Want to help raise money to fund a wish like Cody's? Julie started her own fundraising effort for wishes called, 'Julie's Wish'- to check it out, please click here.

Get In Your Zone

2009-07-15T19:53:00.000-07:00

Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going. - Tennessee Williams

She walked into my yoga/pilates class in tears. She silently placed a mat down, sat on it, and had her phone out next to her. She checked that it was on vibrate (but still on) and checked several more times before the class started - as if she was hopeful to see someone had called.

I walked up to the stage and asked my typical 'starting off questions'. 'What was the pulse of the class? Was it a good day? Was it a bad day? Why did people come to class? Strength? Confidence? Energy? De-stress? How did people want to feel when they left? Energized? Happy? Powerful?'

I had my eye on her, to see how she would respond. She sat unresponsive. I knew her mind was somewhere else.

I then told the class that I needed each person to be willing to let go of whatever was on their mind and choose to be present in the moment of what we were doing. I said, 'if you just go through the motions, you'll just have a mediocre workout, but if you think about connecting your movement, with your breath, with your thoughts, with your goals, then you will find yourself present.' I glanced at her one more time and she was checking her phone.

We began class and I can always tell those who have been able to let go of their 'outside of the studio stress' and allow themselves to be inwardly focused on themselves for the hour. I call this, 'getting into their zone'. I always know without doubt, that they leave feeling better than they came. I know when they walk out of the studio, they will be able to deal with whatever comes their way, better, with more patience and strength.

*Back to class* Halfway through class I looked over during a difficult transition where we end up in a reverse triangle and our heads are low to the ground. When in this pose, she was looking at her phone.

I brought us out of this sequence and paused in a prayer position for a moment and said, 'I know that when we are going through a difficult time, it is painful to let go of the outside chatter. If someone has left us, something didn't work out, something failed miserably - whatever it is - there is nothing you can do except get your heart in the right place to handle it. This is a choice you make right here, right now. You can choose to hold onto that and feel miserable and go through the motions of this class, and then go through the motions of life when you leave. Or, you can chose right now to honor your body, how amazing it is, think about the next step you take and be aware of the breath coming into your body. You can chose to be at your best right now - no one is stopping you but you. If you let some outside distraction stop you, then that distraction has won.'

We went back into our vinyasa flow and I looked over. At first I thought she was packing up to leave, but I quickly learned she was putting her phone away into a bag and walked it over to the side of the room. She came back and finished class with one of the best 'present moments' I have ever witnessed.

After class she came up to me and told me her story. She was going through a breakup with the 'love of her life'. She had been lethargic for days and could not bring herself to want to do anything but cry (been there, done that!) She said she had tried going to the gym 3 other times but would leave in tears, unable to finish her workout because she was so upset. She said she wasn't sure if she could make it through tonight, but when I said, 'if you let that outside distraction stop you from being present, then it has won...' it all made sense to her. While she didn't like how she was feeling, it was because she missed the past and longed for the future with her boyfriend. She didn't enjoy the present of being right here, right now.

Later that week, I received an email from her. She said that she practiced being present at work, as well as out to dinner with her friends. She focused on being into each conversation, being her best, and enjoying the moment. She said she finally figured out how to let go of what she couldn't control, by focusing on being present with who she was right at this moment. Amazingly enough... the moment she had this realization, he called.

Now it's up to her to determine what to do with this next moment. I am confident that she has all the tools that she needs to make the right decision for her. Afterall, those are the tools you learn when focusing on being present and honoring yourself.

I know I have found myself in this place before. When something is out of your control that you want desperately - perhaps a love - a job - a friend, it can be overwhelming and creates a lot of anxiety and stress. I have found if I can bring myself to be present in the moment and reflect inwardly on taking care of me - then I can overcome whatever heartbreak or disappointment I have faced. It is easier said than done, that is for sure. But, I recommend finding a good yoga class or unconditional friend as a starter...

Here's to this moment. May you 'get in your zone' and be fully aware of how fabulous you really are...

"Each today, well-lived, makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life." - Sanskrit poem

"You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment." - Henry David Thoreau

"Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories." -- Cathy Allen

What Happens When You Get What You Want...

2009-07-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live".

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Each week, I never know what I am going to write about. I wait for the message to show up, through a conversation I had with a friend, an experience I saw first-hand or some other form of inspiration that shows up on my doorstep. If there is ever a week that goes by that I don't post something, it is because I didn't feel any special message I felt authentic about sharing. I won't write just to write - I have to feel like there is something I am inspired to let the world know about and hope that there is someone, somewhere, that needed those words at that very moment.

This week, my message comes from the most unsuspecting conversation. I had my high school reunion this week and a group of us met on Sunday (most were still sleeping off the previous two days of reunion celebrating) and played a round of golf. The group had great chemistry, and seemed to laugh more than play.

Throughout the day, we would all swap carts so we could talk to those who we hadn't spent time with yet. Each time we did, I seemed to learn something interesting or inspiring from each person. One person helped me improve my golf game and talked about a new project he is taking on through his business; one talked about 'how to know when you are in the right relationship'; one talked of a recent heart break but a positive mindset; another talked about his time in the middle east fighting for our country; another talked about her goals for 2009. I felt like the theme 'everyone has a story' rang true. Every single person had an interesting story to tell. When I got to the next cartmate, I simply said, 'so tell me about you'. His response is what I choose to write about today.

He started off by saying he had to loose everything, to get what he wanted. Puzzled, I asked him to explain. He mentioned that he used to have a great job, great life, everything was.... great... but he really wanted to meet the right girl. He prayed and asked for God to bring her into his life. Ironically, God did. My friend met the most amazing girl whom he fell in love with immediately. His prayer had been answered.

While one prayer was answered, the other areas of his life that had been so great, crumbled slightly. He lost his job, he moved in with his dad to help him for a while... life as he knew it changed dramatically. I paused and then reacted by telling him how sorry I was to hear this.

But, his response was what left me in awe.

He said, 'don't be sorry, my prayer was answered. I got what I wanted. I asked for God to bring me the love of my life and He has. This other stuff is just stuff. I am rebuilding my life now and slowly but surely, all of the pieces are coming together. But most importantly, I got what I asked for... The rest will just fall in place.'

I was so inspired by his attitude. He knew exactly what he wanted and despite losing other things in his life, he was grateful that God had answered his prayer and he knew it would all work out. He had his priorities in order, he trusted himself and he knew he would be ok. He focused on what he had in his life vs. what he didn't have...

How many times have we had a wonderful opportunity to seize, but we spend so much time staring at what we wish we had or what we lost, that we miss out on what is right in front of us? I've had this trip me up many times.

You have to know what you want, what you are ok with not having and trust yourself that knowing these things will get you through the good and tough times.

I challenge you this week, to focus on what you want, understand what you can live without, and then trust yourself to move forward with these priorities. There are few times in life when all pins line up in a row for us, but if we can be clear on the ones that matter the most , we will know how to stay grateful and positive, even when going through a difficult time.

And my friend... he's getting ready to move to Europe to be with the love of his life. Not too bad of an outcome, I'd say.

Don't be afraid to ask for what you want. Just be ready for it when it comes!

Bounce Like The Pros

2009-06-30T13:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had anyone say something to you that bothered you so much, you let it ruin the rest of your day? Or maybe even the rest of your week? Perhaps your boss told you that your work wasn't up to par, or your significant other told you that they didn't like something you did?

Have you ever failed (and failed big) at something and then never bothered to try it again, simply because the threat of failing again wasn't worth the risk?

Have you ever 'put yourself out there' and decided to tell someone how you feel about them - only to have their response be less than you had hoped for - so you ran away - never to put yourself out there again?

If you have answered 'yes' to any of these things, then I congratulate you - on being a normal human being. I also have a challenge for you to consider.

When I look at successful people - one of the greatest underlying qualities that they possess is the person's ability to keep moving forward, despite the pitfalls in their way. A few well-known examples include: Colonol Sanders & Michael Jordan. Did you know the Colonel was turned down exactly 1000 times prior to being financially backed for Kentucky Fried Chicken? And, did you realize Michael was cut from his high school freshman basketball team? Despite their pitfalls, they overcame the past and moved forward into their amazing future.

Another great example of this is in the game of golf. I am intrigued by this game because of its inconsistency. What I mean by this is that the game of golf doesn't hand you the same outline on any given day - golf throws a new hurdle at the player each time he/she steps on the course. The world's best players, and I mean BEST players, can play a 4 under on a course one day and the very next day, shoot 7 over on that same course. It isn't that their skillset is any less amazing than the day before... It is a part of the game. There are a million and one variables in golf - the wind, the temperature, the grass, the dew, the club choice, the sun, how a golfer feels that day, their mental focus, their level of fatigue, etc. All play roles in the outcome of a day on the course. Some weeks the pros do well, others, they get cut. When a player gets cut on day 2 of a tournament, how do they return back to the line up the next week, ready to finish on top of the leaderboard? Or, on one hole, a player may birdie it (complete the hole in 1 less shot than expected), and then next, double bogey (complete the hole in 2 shots more than expected). How does he/she keep from letting that 'bad shot' ruin the rest of their game?

It takes incredible skill to be able to let go of that bad shot and set up for the next good shot. But, that is what separates the good from the great. Have you ever watched Tiger Woods after he has a bad shot? Very rarely will he have two in a row. He doesn't dwell on the shot he missed, he focuses on the shot he is about to take. Have you ever seen Paul Casey or Camilo Villegas play? Paul stays calm no matter what his last shot looked like - he focuses on where he is right now and what he needs to do. He appears in a 'zone' and is not distracted. And Camilo... no matter what the last hole looked like for him- when he approaches the next one, he looks at every possibility on the field, his mind runs a million miles a minute. He gets low to the ground, he looks high up at the trees. He looks way down to the end of the hole, almost as if he is imagining the pathway the ball will take... He takes in everything around him and focuses on being his best at that moment.

I am not sure of their secret to letting go of a 'bad shot' and focusing in on the shot at hand, but I do know it is how they have learned to be so successful at their sport. (amongst just being really good at golf as well!) (and trust me when I say I don't know their secret - when I am out on the golf course, I try to have that "Tiger Woods'" focus, but I turn into Happy Gilmore halfway through the course).

So I challenge you this week to let go of a 'bad shot' you have had, at work, with a significant other, with a goal you fell short on, and seize up your next opportunity, taking in all that is around you. Decide how you will play that next opportunity. Bounce back.

We tend to place rocks in our way in the form of past failures, fear and the choice to hold onto something that we don't need anymore. We hold onto our mistakes and allow ourselves to focus on the fear that comes with them. As Russell Simmons explains in his book, 'Do You', 'if you want to make a commitment to never quitting, one of the first steps is to simply get out of your own way.'

So - take a shot. Take another. Keep taking those shots, over and over again.

And, by all means, let go of the 'previous shots' that you don't need, the fear of a mistake, the hurt of a failure... Decide that this shot, right here, right now, this is the one that matters.
In doing this, you'll get out of your own way, so the ball can land on the fairway. Or better yet, on the green!

Here's to your next shot.

Following Your Path

2009-06-21T08:30:00.000-07:00

"True teachers use themselves as bridges over which they invite their students to cross; then, having facilitated their crossing, joyfully collapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own."-Nikos Kazantzakis

Sometimes I find myself asking, 'how do I know what the 'right' next step is in my life? How do I know which decision to make?'

Many people, whom I think make very good decisions in their lives, use their 'heart' as their brain. They base their next steps on instinct and feeling. Conversely, I also know a lot of people who make successful decisions on the other end of the spectrum - they scientifically analyze data and details and make decisions based on logic.

I don't believe there is one better way to make a decision - each of us have our own ways of finding what's right for ourselves. I do think, however, that there are a few things that each of us can do in order to feel confident and clear on the decisions that we need to make in order to keep ourselves 'on course'.

1.) Find Your Authentic Path

Make decisions in your life based on being you. If you notice that someone you respect tends to make decisions based on x,y or z, do not feel you need to do those same things. Some times I look at my colleagues and successful fitness role models and I see what they did to get where they are and I wonder if I should be doing 'that' too. I've tried to follow the path of others to create my own, and in my experience - that just doesn't work. You must find your own path, designed by your authentic self. Sure, you can pick up bits and pieces from the leadership and decision-making patterns of others who 'have arrived', but you must not let go of your own spirit and way. You are perfect in your own sense and when you are authentically you - you create the path you were meant to walk down. Soon, you'll find others want to know your secret and will try to walk your path too. They will learn, too, that they need to develop their own authentic path. (see #3)

2.) Find A Teacher

One of the most powerful opportunities we have in our lives is to develop relationships. While we must be authentic in our own decisions, we all need a little guidance and support. There will be times we fall, fail, misstep, can't hear our own inner voice or are afraid of what that inner voice is telling us. I believe we all have 1-2 teachers in our lives that 'show us the way'. These are people who we have found an undefinable connection with that aren't afraid to show us 'their secrets to success' and help us to come into our own. These are powerful, life-changing teachers who help us to embrace our authentic selves and make the most of every blessing in our lives. While this 'teacher' is an incredible gift in our lives, some of us are afraid to find our own teacher. We are stubborn, think we can do it on our own, or again, afraid of what that teacher may show us. If that is you, I especially challenge you to break out of that wave of thought and be open to allowing your teacher to come into your life. When we are open to receiving, the teacher appears.

3.) Be A Teacher

Just as we seek our teacher for guidance and support, we also have the gift to be the same for someone else. Just as you are open to receiving your teacher and his/her words, know that someone is seeking the same from you. When you notice someone coming to you who has the same dreams and passion, be open to being a teacher for that person. It just may be one of the most rewarding decisions you make... and, don't be afraid to share, 'your secrets'. Remember, we must all find our own path - so even if you show someone else how you 'did it', they must take your way as a lesson, but carve out their own. You never know - you may learn more from your student than you ever imagined.

I challenge you (and me!) this week, to be clear on who your authentic self is. What is ok and not ok in your life? What do you truly believe and want? What makes you authentically different from the crowd? (Celebrate that!) What makes you come fully alive?

Then, spend some time thinking about the 'teacher' who you have in your life and how much of an impact he/she has made in your world. Are you letting him/her in as much as you can? He/she is there in your life for a reason. Let your teacher be a guide for you.

Finally, consider if you are currently serving in the role as 'teacher' to someone else. If not - can you be? Is there someone waiting in the wings for your outreached hand?

And, after all of this thought - I challenge you to 'be open' to seeing your authentic self(and loving it!), letting your teacher in, and being that teacher to someone else. And then, enjoy the journey. You're right on track.

"A great teacher never strives to explain her vision; she simply invites you to stand beside her and see for yourself."-The Rev. R. Inman

*This blog was inspired by a recent conversation I had with an amazing friend of mine, during a night of stories and observations.

How To Never Fail

2009-06-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

Would you like the secret to never failing? What if you could learn how to never make a mistake, never take the wrong turn, never say the wrong thing? If there was a way you could guarantee to always have a smooth and easy path, would you want to know?

Well, then I have the answers for you. There are two ways to achieve the above. You may chose one, or the other.

1.) In the words of one of my fitness industry friends & mentor, Kimberly Spreen, 'Do Nothing'. That's right. 'Do Nothing'. In order to never make a mistake, say a wrong word, or turn the wrong way, you must simply never speak, act or do anything. How can you possibly make a mistake if you aren't doing anything? Ok, ok - the point is that there is no way we can ever live where we don't occasionally say something we wish we wouldn't have, or turn right when the directions said straight. These things are just a part of our journey and how we learn.

2.) The true way we can make sure we are always confident with how we speak, act and live is to change how we view the situation. Instead of seeing it as a mistake or failure, see it as a stepping stone to greater understanding of yourself, your journey and your life. Here are some examples of people who thought they were off course at the time, and then realized there was a greater reason why:

Consider the people who were running late for work at the World Trade Center on 9/11.
Think about the person who developed the 'Post It'. He discovered the concept after trying to make a new form of glue. The glue didn't work, but the post-it note has now made him a millionaire.
Imagine 'finding love' when panicking over turning the 'wrong way'. A friend of mine got lost and was late for an appointment and had to stop to ask for directions when she met the man who became her husband.

I've heard leaders say time and again, 'My greatest mistake turned into my greatest success'. Instead of seeing your mistakes, missteps and rough times as failures, I challenge you this week to choose to see them as windows to new adventures, learnings and experiences. Keep your mindset positive and open. Try not to be stuck on what you thought you wanted to do, be or say, but be open to what comes into your life.

'The Last Lecture' author, Randy Pausch, said in his speech, 'Experience is what we get when we don't get what we want.' That experience is typically more valuable than what we had hoped for in our original quest.

'There is something good in all seeming failures. You are not to see that now. Time will reveal it. Be Patient.' -Sri Swami Satchidananda

Here's to your road ahead - may it be positively bumpy, may it have turns you didn't expect and may you end up at a castle far greater than you ever dreamed of...

Brick Walls Are There On Purpose

2009-05-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

''Brick Walls' are there to stop the people that don't want it badly enough.'

- Randy Pausch

A few years ago, I had what I felt would be my first big break. A talent scout from NYC called me and told me he would pay for me to fly to Dallas to teach at a fitness show. The 'gig' consisted of me teaching on stage 3 times during a 2 day show, in which 90,000 people were expected to attend. He said his agency picks 1-2 'up-and-comers' in the fitness industry to support and rally behind. His agency had come across my portfolio and they had selected me. I checked out their website and the show's website and it seemed legitimate, and so I signed on.

I couldn't have been more excited. This was the start of what I had dreamed of... I went shopping and bought 5 new fitness outfits, packed my best business suits (he told me I would be going to dinners with agents and other 'important' people), I took my computers, video cameras, full inventory of my fitness videos, posters etc.

Upon arrival, I found that the fitness show had not been promoted, and while there were a lot of vendors, there weren't any people in attendance. The vendors were livid, the 'talent' (the group I was in) that was to perform was annoyed, and the people producing the event couldn't be found. I decided to make the best of what seemed to be a 'bad' situation, and I set up my video camera, got on stage, turned up the microphone, and just started doing what I came to do. I pulled everyone at the show out on to the floor and started teaching and bringing some energy into the room. While it was a small turnout, I took advantage of the experience and had a lot of fun. God bless the older couple that hung out at the front of the stage the entire time I was up there, as if I was a rockstar and they were pumping their fists and hooping and hollering for me the entire 40 minutes. We all need those people to get us through. Where ever you are, my groupy couple - thank you. You kept me going.

When I finished, I found that anyone who had come out on the floor to workout with me, flocked to me for my video and autograph. While it wasn't what I had been promised (by any means), the experience on day 1 was fun and I was happy with myself for seeing how I could take lemons and make lemonade.

On day two, half of the vendors didn't return, and most of the talent flew home (some the big names that arrived were threatening to sue!). The show seemed even more 'shanty' than the day before. But again, I got on stage and did what I came to do. My life motto has been to make a difference to the lives of others - so whether that is 3 people or 300,000. They all count.

Afterwards, I had the same small flow of 'fans' asking for videos and autographs. I had kept my DVDs in my car as I would be going to the airport after I finished and so all of my luggage was in my rental car. I went out to my rental car to get a few videos and I had an eerie feeling. Something didn't feel right. I had parked in the secure, covered lot attached to the Dallas Convention Center. I had parked close to the doors I had walked into - and hadn't thought much about it. When I got to my rental car, I found it had been broken into and all of my inventory, cameras, computers, clothing, jewelry.... gone.

I called the police and they came and said my car had been parked from the 1 angle in the garage that the security cameras couldn't reach. They said that it was common for thieves to camp out in garages on Sundays, as they know this is the last day of a show and most people working a show will have their luggage... an ideal day to steal out of cars. So- I just so happened to park in the wrong spot, at the wrong time, and - all of my stuff was gone. I went back inside and told the other vendors (in case they wanted to check their cars) and they came up with all of these conspiracy theories on how the whole weekend had been a scam and my car had been broken into by the same scam artists that got us to come to the show in the first place.

Deciding not to spend time in this negative thought, I left the show, got into my rental car, bagless, and drove to the airport. I remember feeling numb. I wanted to cry, but I also couldn't believe what had happened. Not only had it not been my 'big break' in terms of getting discovered, but it was a 'big break' to my possessions - everything I had for my business (that I had built over two years) and my favorite jewelry, clothing etc, was gone. Somehow, I remained calm, saying over and over again, 'it's just stuff, Julie... it's just stuff.'

It wasn't until I got to the airport check-in and the friendly airline woman asked me if I had any bags to check, that I started to cry. She had to be so surprised - I may have been the first person on Earth who broke down in tears at the asking of that question. But, I quickly pulled myself together, smiled and told her I had just 'had a moment' but was now fine.

During my flight home, I thought about what happened... Was this a sign? Was I a fool to think I was going to get that big break? I would now have to start over again with my business. The idea felt a bit exhausting and I had no idea where I would get the money to do that... I had spent my savings over the past 2 years starting my company, buying my equipment, contracting with video production companies, shooting my videos, hiring distribution centers to fill my orders, working with graphic designers to build my brand and make my posters, DVD covers, banners, website logos etc. It felt like it was all gone.

Was this a way of God telling me I was off track and shouldn't pursue this dream? Was I forcing something that wasn't meant to be?

I asked myself those questions a good portion of the flight back. And you know, the funny thing is, every time I asked one of those questions, my soul, my heart and my head all immediately answered in unison, 'Nope. You're fine. Just keep going. This is what you were meant to do. It's just a stumble, not an ending'. I actually heard myself say, 'I know this event will make my business even better'.

Two years later, I have shot 8 more videos, am on tap to shoot 5 more in the near future, am writing a book, have shot commercials for products and events, am a spokeperson and ambassador for various health philanthropies and fitness initiatives and have been in over 15 other fitness shows and conferences that were actually legitimate.

As I look back, I realize, that the 'Dallas' pitfall helped me to see how committed I was to my dream. If I was wishy-washy about it, I would have quit and moved on to another passion or idea. But I knew, without waiver, that this is what I am supposed to do in my life. Showing others how fabulous fitness can feel is what I am here for... if anything, the pitfall just made me want it more. (And don't get me wrong, while my business has taken off, I still have a long ways to go to reach my goals and dreams for it. But, I know what I want, and I know it is possible.)

So, I challenge you, to see the small hurdles and missteps in your life as blessings. They help you to decide how bad you really want something. Those brick walls are there to be overcome. You just have to decide you are up for the challenge. And, then... enjoy the journey and all of the bumps and turns along the way.

And, when you get the chance, find a way to be that rockstar groupy in the front row, pumping your fists and hooping and hollering for someone else who is on their journey. My groupy couple kept me on that stage. They have no idea what their energy did for me that day. So, go give your hoops and hollers to someone. You will make all the difference.

If Today Was Your Last Day

2009-04-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past

Donate every dime you have?

Would you call old friends you never see?

Reminisce of memories

Would you forgive your enemies?

Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you finally fall in love

If today was your last day -Nickelback

If you found out that today was your last day, what would you do? The lyrics above ask some intringuing questions. The intrigue doesn't come from acting on those notions, but on the fact that it takes something as dramatic as thinking that today is your last day on earth to conjure up the ability, desire and/or confidence to live life to the fullest.

Why don't we do these things, with the hope that tomorrow isn't our last day? What if we did all of these things today?

Could you let go of your past? Can you move forward in your life and not look back?
Could you give away more than you keep; would you help someone else in need just because...
Would you get back in touch with someone you've been meaning to call and talk for hours about the times you had together, laughing and then wondering how you ever lost touch?
Would you go out on a limb and be open to meeting the right person that actually could bring you happiness in your life?
Would you allow yourself to fall madly in love without hesitation, reservation or referring back to the past to predict how you choose to act/feel?

Imagine if you even did half of those things tomorrow... what an amazing day it would be! Do you realize you have this ability? You can make your day come alive! Don't wait for dramatic news to inspire to live out the things in your life that are important. Today is all we are certain of - right here, right now. You have this one moment, and that is the only thing we know for sure. Who knows what the moment next will bring.

So, take this moment, and go do something incredible with it.

Let go of the past. Forgive yourself. Set a new goal. Reach out to an old friend. Inspire a stranger. Give to someone unexpectedly. Open your heart to love. Love fearlessly. Love fully. Love as if you can't be hurt or rejected. Love someone. Love yourself. Love your life. Accept your life. Live your life as if this is your one chance to get it right.

Now go on, this one moment is all we have - go live it to it's fullest.

Get Knocked to Your Knees & Rise Up - Victorious!

2009-04-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it. - Vince Lombardi

I had the opportunity to attend a luncheon last week that honored Santonio Holmes and Dick LaBeau. I was thrilled to see Santonio Holmes speak - he went to the Ohio State University and played on the National Championship team the same time I was in grad school (at OSU). He went on to play for the Steelers and made the winning touchdown in the Superbowl for the Steelers in 2009.

Surpisingly to me, while I enjoyed seeing Santonio very much - it was Dick LaBeau that brought tears to my eyes.

Dick began by telling us his of experience playing for Woody Hayes at the Ohio State University in the late 1950s. He went on to play for the Detroit Lions for 14 years, and then would spend the next 36 years being the assistance coach for various NFL teams. He explained that he was fired 5 times throughout his career and would continue to move on to the next opportunity, hopeful to have a career high with his next position. At the age of 65, the Buffalo Bills 'let him go' and it was at that point in time when most people are expected to 'retire' and move on to the next stage of life. Dick said he didn't feel ready to do that. While he had pressure and encouragement to 'let go' of coaching and just enjoy his life, he accepted an assistant coaching position with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He has spent the last five years with the Steelers and in those 5 years, he has won 2 AFC Championships and 2 Superbowls. This is more than he had won in the previous 30+ years of coaching combined.

His message to us was this: 'Don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. If you believe in something, go for it. If you get knocked down, get back up. If I would have listened to what everyone else told me to do, or if I would have questioned if I was a good coach because I was 'let go' throughout my entire career, I would have missed out on some of the greatest moments in my coaching life. I believed I was meant to do something and I stayed committed to that passion, despite getting knocked down.'

So I challenge you this week - don't settle for what you have come to know as 'what you are supposed to do'. Shake it up. Be daring. Listen to that inner voice that tells you to go after that thing you really want. We all fall. We all fail. We all get knocked down. We all have choices to keep going in pursuit of our dreams or to give up and move on to some other stage in life. I challenge you to decide what you want and continue. Expect pitfalls, challenge the hurdles. The roadblocks and mountains in your way are only there so you can climb over them. Decide what waits for you up top and begin your journey up. After all, the best moments of your life are just up ahead.

Love, Hope and Try - The Great Risks!

2009-04-07T05:45:00.000-07:00

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Author Unknown

Do you go after what you really want? Do you admit how you truly feel? To you put yourself out there, at the possibility of falling flat? If you answered no to any of these, I challenge you this week, to come alive, and decide what it is that you really want.

Have you ever chosen not to love someone because you thought they wouldn't love you back? Have you ever been afraid to fall in love because you knew it might hurt too much when it didn't work out? If you haven't, well then you don't know all the facets of love. Love is not conditional on a two way street. Love comes from liking that person, from the inside out -without the expectation that they will feel the same way. Of course, when it is reciprocated, well, then - you have found that thing we all seek. But, if it isn't returned, 'Love is never lost if not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.' Love is one of those things that doesn't disappear, it just may come back to you in a different form than you thought. Be open to seeing it in a different shape or form than you pictured it.

Do you hope for things that seem a little 'daydreamer-ish?' Or, does that idea sound foolish? Does the idea of being disappointed by your dream not coming true keep you from having it in the first place? If so, I challenge you to get out there and dream, and dream big. 'If you shoot for the moon and miss, you'll land amongst the stars.'

And finally, do you try for something, knowing it could fail, or do you stay safe and not leave your comfort zone? Always doing what you always did will always get you what you always got. The only way you will see more out of yourself, life and others is to put yourself out there and try. When you fail, fail big and get right back up and go again. Life is not a series of steady, easy, smooth decisions that create an even-keeled life. Life is about getting out there and loving as if you can't be hurt, dreaming as if there are no boundaries to your success and trying as if you couldn't fail.

Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a ride!

A Treadmill For Two

2009-03-23T20:22:00.000-07:00

"The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch swing with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you've ever had. "~ Unknown

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. "~ Grace Pulpit

As my cycle class was about to begin, a couple walked in. Quiet, smiling, they didn't make any disruption and went right over to some bikes that had been set up. If I hadn't been looking down I would have never noticed the dog that accompanied them. Perfectly behaved, the dog quietly led his owner through the dark room and to her bike. Then, he laid down and watched her cycle, without moving his gaze away from her for one second. As the music pumped, the energy got higher, and the lights flickered in the room, the dog's focus was on her and her alone.

After class, I asked the couple how their ride was and they gave some positive feedback and then I asked, 'was the music ok for him?' and pointed to the dog, a beautiful brown retriever. I had been worried that the music was too loud. They laughed and said, 'no, Happy is used to loud music'. The owner then let me know that she has had Happy for 1.5 years and the dog does everything with her. As she spoke, Happy kept close to her knee and rubbed it with his nose, from time to time, as if to let her know he was there.

She then said, 'in fact, the first time I tried to get on a treadmill, Happy, whose focus is to keep me safe', tried to get on the treadmill too, but it was akward because there wasn't enough room. Happy kept trying because he wanted to be by my side.'

I laughed but inside, my heart swelled to think of how sweet it was that the dog kept trying to get on the treadmill to walk with his mom to protect & guide her. I thought about how unconditional Happy was to his owner. It didn't matter what she was attempting or if he had been trained to know how to do it - whether laying in a cycle class next to his mom riding a stationary bike or attempting to walk on the treadmill with his mom, so that she felt guided and protected, he was always there.

I debated on if I had shown that same level of love for my friends and family. And, I thought about the friends who had show'd that same level of love for me.

How about you? Are you there for someone when they can't see for themselves? Do you go out of your comfort zone to be by their side? Do you gently 'nudge' them to remind them you are there, by calling them, holding their hand or putting your arm around them?

I challenge you this week to 'get on that treadmill' with a good friend. Do something that takes you out of your comfort zone... sit and listen... have patience... be there, even when inconvenient or difficult.

It isn't just the friends that show up for the party; but moreso, it's the friends who stand by your side and love you unconditionally that help to 'see' all that your life can be.

I think Happy's owner may actually 'see' more in life than most people with perfect vision.

So now, go on, get on that moving treadmill.

Let Luck Find You

2009-03-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

-Coach Darrel Royal

Do you know someone who seems to have luck on their side? They seem to always have the best opportunities, the most unique circumstances, the most incredible outcomes? They seem to be in the right place, at the right time? And, they seem to find the needle in the haystack - the diamond in the rough -they see the things in life that most of us somehow miss.

So, what is this 'lucky charm' they seem to possess, and how do we get one?

While I don't have all the answers (and have my fair share of various forms of luck!), I think finding your own 'lucky charm' is simpler than you think. I promise each one of you reading this that you can increase your luck, no matter where you are in your life, what circumstance you are facing, or what decision(s) you have at your hands, just by adopting two simple principles in your life.

I am a strong believer in the idea of 'like attracting like'. When you focus on the happy things in your life, express gratitude for the opportunities you have (no matter how big or small), and find the joy in each day, you throw a signal out in the world of positivity. When you 'throw this signal' people can't help but be attracted to it and it tends to manifest more opportunities, joy and passion. Pretty soon, it looks like you are just an extremely lucky person, and, that may be a part of it, but you have enabled the 'luck' to find you as well.

In addition, being at the right place isn't enough for luck to occur. If you were waiting to meet the love of your life, and he/she walked past you, would you know what to do? If you were hoping for a promotion and your boss called you into the office tomorrow morning to ask for a business case on why you should be promoted, would you know how to respond? Luck tends to find those who have prepared for the opportunity to present itself.

So, I challenge you to make friends with luck this week. To do this, follow two simple steps.

1.) Throw the signal of joy and gratitude out to the world. Focus on the things that make you fabulous. Embrace each day and look forward to each opportunity. See the glass half full. Do somethat makes someone else smile. Live with energy. I promise you, you'll manifest your luck.

2.) Prepare for what you really want. If you want to meet the person of your dreams, understand how you would react if you really met them. If you want that dream job, decide what you would do in the interview for it. When you prepare for what you want, you'll know what to do when it comes around. Don't miss the opportunity because you didn't recognize it. (Some people suggest creating a 'vision board' that takes what you want and crystallizes it by cutting out images an putting them on paper so you know exactly what you want). Decide what you really want and what you will do with it when you get it. I promise you, when it comes, you will know just how to get it.

Shout from the mountain tops about your present joy - give off that glow; prepare for the opportunities you want to come; celebrate the luck that will follow.

Look For the Lightning to Strike

2009-03-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived. You never know when lightning may strike. ~William Parrish (from the movie, 'Meet Joe Black').

Love. The most interesting of all topics in the world. It can cause the greatest joy - the deepest pain. It speaks many languages, looks and feels different to each person, and causes incredible confusion, and yet is the most amazing feeling that exists.

Recently, a dear friend of mine told me to watch the movie, 'Meet Joe Black' (she even bought me a copy to ensure I would watch it). I usually don't spend a lot of time watching movies by myself, but for some reason, I was drawn to have a night in, by myself, to view this recommended film.

Within 20 minutes of the movie, I knew I loved it. The quotation above was uttered from a doting father who was trying to counsel his beloved daughter on making sure she married the right man. At the time, she was in a relationship with a man who seemed 'perfect on paper' but didn't bring much excitement, joy or passion to her heart. Her dad told her to 'be open' and look for the 'lightning to strike'.

So many times, we fall into love with the comfortable, verses the passion and joy. I challenge you to keep your heart open to find the passion and joy that only love can bring you. If you have felt it, you know there is no feeling like it in the world. There is nothing better. There is nothing that you can't handle when with the partner that you love with all of your heart. After all, that's why the heart was created. To love. (supplying bloodflow circulation/oxidation is secondary!) Your heart was created to love with every ounce of your being. So why would you be ok with anything but that?

In addition, the movie depicted the idea that true love comes when the other person knows everything about you and loves you just the same... moreover, when you trust someone enough to tell them your deepest secret and trust they won't run away after hearing it.

Sure, this kind of love is hard to find. But I know it is out there.

So how do you find it? I wish I knew the black and white answer. But I can tell you this... Believe that you deserve to be loved by someone with all of their heart, and that you could love someone that much...

and then be open... and look for the lightning to strike.

Live Your Life On Purpose

2009-03-02T20:35:00.001-08:00

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ... 'Wow! What a ride!'"

I believe that children are smarter than adults in many ways. They understand what it means to live their lives on purpose... They believe in the power of the impossible. They don't take no for an answer. They find joy in simple things. They laugh a lot. They don't mind being silly. They take chances because they don't understand the concept of failure. They know what makes them happy and they spend most of their time focusing on those things. Everything they do - they do, on purpose - to be happy.

As we get older, we rationalize and define the concept of 'impossible' things. When told no, we walk away. We over-analyze situations to try to find happiness vs. looking right in front of us. We tend to spend a lot of time just being 'status quo'. We look around to see who's watching before we allow ourselves to be silly. We don't take chances because we fear failure. We have no idea what makes us happy and spend a lot of time chasing the wrong concepts. Instead of living each day on purpose, many of us find ways to live each day, just going with the flow.

Many of us get caught up in living to make money. We think when we are richer, we will be happier. While I confess that financial abundance is a goal of mine, I also know it will not bring me happiness on it's own. Some of the poorest people have the greatest joys in life, while some of the wealthiest are the poorest in spirit.

Take for example, a study that was done and written about by Whitley Strieber in 'Money Really doesn't Buy Happiness'. On a scale of 1-7 where 1 means 'not at all satisfied with my life' and 7 means 'completely satisfied', the Forbes 400 richest Americans average a 5.8. This is the exact same average as the cattle-herding Masai people of Kenya, who live in dung huts without electricity or running water.

For your weekly challenge, I dare you to embrace the concept of living your life intentionally. Decide one thing you want to have happen this week and make sure prior to the week's end, that you made it happen. Chose to spend more time with your friends. Chose to take a risk that scares you once a day. Laugh by yourself. Chose to understand what will make you happy, and go for it. Forget the words impossible or failure. Live out loud. Live Your Life On Purpose.

The Reasons People Come & Go

2009-02-24T19:15:00.000-08:00

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do. - Anonymous

Have you ever met someone who made such an impact that when they exited your life, you felt a painful loss? Have you found yourself saying, 'Maybe it would have been better not to know them at all - it hurts too much to loose them now?'

I can think of several people that have come into my life and profoundly changed it for the better, and then disappeared as quickly as they came. Selfishly, I've found myself saddened and thinking about how much I wished they could stay longer. The disappearance didn't make sense. Why would something so wonderful have to come to an end? Why do some of the best things seem to only have a season? I don't know all the answers, but I do believe people come into your life with several different intentions.

One, is for a Reason. Perhaps you are at a point in your life that needs that person's experience, love, or energy to help you through it. I remember coming out of a tough relationship and not being sure what I felt about anything. Someone came into my life at that point and reminded me about who I was, what I wanted in my life, and who I wanted in my life. Since that point - they have disappeared from my day-to-day living, but what they did for me was unforgettable. I am forever grateful that they came into my life when they did. The only way I know how to repay them is to not loose sight of the gifts they brought to my life and perhaps - pay forward those gifts to someone else who is in need, as I was...

Others come into your life for a Season. Our lives all change course at points and times. I can think of my friends from high school, college, and now... some are the same - but some of us have gone in different directions and have drifted apart. That doesn't make the memories of what we shared together any less significant. I think back to the girls I lived with in college. All of us were full of hope for our lives, excited to 'meet the right guy', 'figure out what we wanted to do in life' and most importantly 'wanted to enjoy being young and free'. Now, many of those friends are now married, with kids, living in different states/countries, living very different lives. But the memories of that 'season' will forever linger in my heart.

And finally - a Lifetime. If we are lucky enough to meet a few people that spend a lifetime with us, we are truly blessed. These are the people that know us inside and out and still love us. At our best - at our worst, they would stand by us in our greatest celebrations and most difficult moments. A lifetime friend is a special person that we don't know why we are so blessed to have them, but we know we couldn't get through life without them by our side. I believe you know almost immediately when you meet a lifetime friend. There is a certain connection you make - perhaps with your soul, your energy, your heart - it is an undefinable, unexplainable friendship that can only be understood as a gift in your life.

For this week's challenge. I ask you to consider the following: We all have lost people in our lives that we wished had stayed 'a season longer'. Instead of focusing on 'why they left' - I challenge you to focus on, 'why they came' . I think you will find that you have been touched by people who were there for a reason and because of them - your life is better. When you are touched by those who were there for a season, you can look back at a point in life and smile at the memory. And, those lifetime friends. They help us stay focused on what our life journey is all about... the best is yet to come!

Reason, Season or Lifetime. All gifts. All purposeful. Your life is better because of each of them. Let go of the past and focus on the current season and enjoy every second of it. And make sure you tell your 'reason' friends just what they've done for you. I think I'll be making a phone call tomorrow.

Inside-Out Challenge

2009-02-16T19:40:00.000-08:00

What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful. -Scott Westerfeld

'Chris'

I walked into the hospital room to visit 'Chris'. He was a younger boy that I had mentored, and had fallen ill with a terminal disease. When I first met him, he was a physically striking young man -the heartthrob of all the high school girls. He lit up the room with his personality. I had been told to prepare myself because I wouldn't recognize him. The disease had caused him to loose limbs, swell with 85 lbs of water weight, break out in a horrible rash, and loose his hair. I walked into the room, expecting the worse.

I want you to take a moment here to consider what you think you would feel?

I expected to feel sorry for him and be sad. But, he made that almost impossible. As soon as I walked in, Chris' smile lit up the room. He cracked a joke, and gave me a hug. I spent about an hour with him that day and I remember forgetting all about those physical conditions. It was just him... just me - hanging out, cracking jokes and telling stories...just like always. And, when I asked him how he was 'handling everything' - he looked at me for a minute as if he wasn't sure what I meant. I then said, 'I know you wanted to be a professional athlete', and he didn't miss a beat and simply replied, 'Oh yeah, I will just play for a paraplegic team'. And made a bat swing in the air and smiled.

Chris' ability to see his inner beauty taught me more than he will probably ever know. How many times have I lost confidence in myself due to something completely unimportant? And, more significantly, how many times have I missed out on knowing someone fabulous (like Chris) because of some external stereotype or ignorance?

'Kurtis and Brenda'

Then there's Kurtis and Brenda... Kurtis(22) was a younger stock boy at the grocery store, Brenda was a cashier(26). Kurtis asked Brenda out on a date and she kept telling him no, 'it would be impossible'. Kurtis persisted and she finally let him know she had two kids and couldn't afford a babysitter. He offered to pay for the sitter.

The night he showed up, she said she couldn't go, the sitter had cancelled. Kurtis suggested they take the kids to dinner with them. Brenda let Kurtis in to show him that she had a daughter and a younger son. The younger son was in a wheelchair. Brenda assumed he would leave at that point, but Kurtis saw no issue. They went to dinner and had a wonderful time. Kurtis took great care of her son, and even picked him up and carried him when he had to go to the bathroom. Kurtis and Brenda continued to date and eventually got married. They are now Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner. (Kurt Warner was the QB for the Arizona Cardinals and took them to the Superbowl and won the NFL's MVP twice).

Kurt's ability to see inner beauty brought him what he now considers his greatest joy. He has mentioned many times in his press conferences that his family far outweighs any Superbowl win, ring or game.

I challenge you this week to make an effort to get to know someone you normally wouldn't; sit and listen to someone's story you haven't given a chance before. Try seeing someone from the inside-out.

You never know - maybe you'll meet someone who will change your life in ways you can't even imagine...

People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. -Salma Hayek

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand

2009-02-09T19:23:00.000-08:00

'Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself, and that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams...' -Paul Coelho (from The Alchemist)

'The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.' -Jacques Benigne Bossuel

'Once you have loved, You will always love. For what's in your mind may escape, but what's in your heart will remain forever. There is no instinct like that of the heart.' -Lord Byron

Celebrate the week of the heart!

Between honoring National Heart Disease Awareness Day (Go Red!) and Valentine's Day (Go Love!), this is a special week to focus on taking care of your heart. You can do this by making a sincere effort to: exercise, eat well, follow a passion and/or love someone. All of these things help to keep the heart in it's best shape - happy and healthy!

I chose to start off this message with the quotes above because they all come back to the same idea. The heart will drive us to our best moments. Following our heart - even when scary or uncertain - brings us our greatest riches. The feelings the heart produces are far more amazing than anything else we are capable of... they bring us our greatest joy.

This week, I challenge to stop being afraid of what your heart tells you and follow your passion. Take a chance. Put yourself out there. Be vulnerable. Love someone without expecting them to love you back. Suggest a new idea that sounds crazy. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and open your soul to listen to what your heart is asking for... it will tell you very clearly what it needs, wants and loves. You just have to listen for it.

So, how will you take care of your heart this week? Loving someone doesn't take much - a simple gesture will do. You have no idea how much one small moment of affection can do for someone else. You could change their entire day. So what is stopping you? Go after that heart of yours!

'Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart....' -Unknown.

My Message is My Life

2009-02-02T20:46:00.000-08:00

My message is my life. - Mahatma Gandhi

This weekend I talked with a friend of mine who wanted to discuss how we know what our purpose in life is... it is always an interesting question to consider. I am not one to claim to have the answer, but I do have a few ideas.

So often, we spend time focusing on what huge impact we can have - some enormous purpose to existing. But I ask you to pause for a moment and then name the last 5 Nobel Peace Prize winners. Or perhaps, 5 Senators from your state or the current top 10 Best Selling Novelists.

Perhaps you can, but more likely, you cannot.

Now I ask you to name your 5 favorite teachers, your 5 greatest friends and your 5 strongest role models. The point to this little exercise is to prove that people don't remember those who won a fancy award or prize, they remember the people who were there for them, touched their hearts and influenced their life for the better.

So that is our purpose. To learn from our lessons to help others have a lighter road, to be open to new experiences, to find passion in the things we love and to love as if there was no such thing as being hurt.

When we start to feel off-track in life, that is just our heart taking the steering wheel and telling us to head in a different direction. It is important to pay attention to these times (and we all have them, so don't worry), because they can be the wind in our sails that drive us right to discovering 'our purpose'. When we are following our hearts, finding our simple joys, being there for others - then we have found our purpose. It's not a moment. It's not a major award. It is how we choose to live in each moment.

My message is my life.. Such a fabulous way to say - everything I do, every day of my life, is what I leave behind. So make sure you leave behind exactly what you want to. You have the ability to leave an imprint on this world anyway you want. What will your imprint be?

Believe In It All The Way

2009-01-15T20:02:00.001-08:00

When you believe a thing, believe in it all the way. - Walt Disney

Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that assures the successful outcome of any venture. - William James

You can be anything you want to be. You can have anything you want to have. You can do anything you want to do. The common thread as to why people aren't who they want to be, don't have what they want to have and don't do what they want to do is because they lose their belief in the possibility of it.

Why? Because it is easier to fail. It is easier to give up. It is easier to go with the flow and not be different. It is easier to just be like everyone else. But, in settling for easier, we lose the very sense of what we were put on this earth to do. And, most importantly, we lose the sense of who were are and what brings joy in our lives.

I recently worked with a woman who was in her 70's. She hired me to train her because she wanted to be able to walk with her husband at night. She had tried countless exercise programs and had failed - for over 20 years. She let me know that she has wanted to be her husband's walking partner for those 20 years and each night, just watches him out the window as he takes his walk (and pretends it doesn't bother her). I asked her if she believed she could ever be capable of taking that walk with her husband and she said she did. That belief was all we needed.

Prior to beginning her fitness journey, she could only walk from her house to the car. In addition, she had been taking medication for Diabetes and high blood pressure for 20+ years. Her body fat composition measured well-over 40% bodyfat (30% is considered obese). She had gotten accustomed to living a sedentary life. But she wanted something different for herself. She no longer wanted to watch her husband walk alone. She no longer wanted to be winded walking to the car. She no longer wanted to sit back and watch life pass her by. She believed she could be different.

After six months of intensive conditioning, I just received a phone call from her. She is vacationing in Florida. It is the first time in 20+ years that she got on a plane and took a vacation. She mentioned she has gone off of almost all medication, and is wearing a clothing size she can't remember ever fitting in before...

And most importantly... tonight, their first night on vacation... she and her husband walked the entire resort. She mentioned they hadn't laughed so hard since their first year of dating. She said she felt like a teenager again. And, as they rounded the corner back to the hotel, hand-in-hand, she asked him, 'want to take another lap?' He smiled and told her she was going to wear him out. And, they took that second lap.

The only difference between this time and the previous 20 years of failure was her commitment to believing it was possible.

What do you believe is possible for yourself? What's stopping you?

It's Not the Days... It's the Moments

2009-01-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

'We do not remember days, we remember moments'. -Caesare Pavese

As the New Year kicked off, I spent some time in reflection, not only over this past year, but of my life in general. I thought about old friends and new friends, adventures and travels, unexpected joy, and times I laughed until I cried. It dawned on me that it is easy to think about our lives in terms accomplishments. We tend to place value on the successes in life.

I challenge you to consider thinking about your life differently. Think about your life in terms of the moments that have brought you the most joy. It is likely, those moments aren't the ones where you received a degree, got a first job or made a paycheck. Those moments are the ones you make, when you don't realize you are making them - when you are with family, or friends, finding the joy in eachother and appreciating eachother - simply.

When I think of my fondest moment, while I have many, the first one that comes to mind is when when I spent time with a friend. We didn't do anything unique or special. We actually stayed in and watched movies, danced to music off of itunes on our computer and made eachother laugh until we cried by telling stories of our lives. My cheeks hurt for a whole day after... There was nothing significant about this time except for we had found simple joy in spending time together. Whenever I have a down moment, it is easy to think back to watching my friend dance like no one was watching and me falling on the floor - unable to get up because I was laughing so hard. I feel that same joy overwhelm my heart as I did in the actual moment.

It is not significant accomplishments that makes our lives rich - it is those times that bring joy to our hearts, tears to our eyes, and a tireless smile to our faces.

I challenge you this week to consider this ... while goals and accomplishments are great things to inspire us - they are not what makes our lives rich. Spend some time thinking back to the last time you smiled with your eyes, laughed til you hurt, and found simple joy - in the presence of a good friend. These are the things that make our lives.

There are no ordinary moments - so make sure you are able to find the joy in each one.

Will You Change the World?

2008-12-29T21:03:00.000-08:00

I get up every morning, determined both to change the world and have to one hell of a good time. Sometimes, this makes planning the day difficult. -E.B. White

What if we woke up every morning, with the intention of changing the world, and having the best day of our life? Simply answered, we would have a fabulous day - regardless of what the outcomes were.

You see, we all are able to change the world each day. It may be in something as simple as a smile to a stranger on the street. That smile contagiously crosses that stranger's face who then smiles at someone else. Soon, more and more people are lifted by the kindness and joy of a stranger, and the world is a bit happier. A simple smile. And you never know - maybe one of those strangers was on their last thread of hope - and that smile came at just the right time to push them through. You never know the impact your actions make on others - but TRUST that your actions change other's lives in powerful ways! Make the choice to make an impact.

When we wake up each day with the intention of contributing to our purpose on earth, we will ALWAYS change the world. But, the tragedy comes when we wake up and go through the motions of another day - forgetting the gratitude and purpose we have for our life. You are in the drivers seat - it's your journey, it's your purpose - will you decide to change the world today or just let it pass?

Live with intention. Live boldly! Live without excuse or apology. Be the change you wish to see (Ghandi). Stretch. Reach. Find your simple joy and then give it to someone else.

It's just a smile. Or so you thought. Go out now, and change the world.

You Have All Of The Answers You Need...

2008-11-10T19:58:00.000-08:00

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”
-Lao-tzu

How many times have you had to make a big decision and while you have a 'gut feeling' about it, you still seek other people's opinions, just to make sure you are on track?

Intuition is one of the strongest senses we have, yet often the most ignored. We tend to rationalize everything in life, seek other's approvals, and weigh the odds, prior to making many decisions. But, more often than not, the right answer is the one that you feel deep down inside; it comes out without much thought, analyzation or discussion.

The reason is this:

Your brain rationalizes decisions. But, the world is not a rational place, so rational decisions are hardly fulfilling.
The heart feels decisions. But, many times the heart can lead with emotion and get caught up in itself.
The gut is where your true decisions come from. Your internal instinct or 'gut' takes the immediate responses of the brain and the heart and combines them to tell you what the right decision is for you.

I challenge you to trust yourself. You know yourself better than any one else. Only you know what will make you happy, who you want to be, and the legacy you will leave the world. Trust that internal response to life... it knows the way. Listen for it's voice, have confidence in it's direction and hang on as you enjoy the ride.

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” -Lao-tzu

Decide that you want it...

2008-10-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

Decide that you want it, more than you are afraid it. - Bill Cosby

How many things have we missed out on in life because we were afraid of them? As we 'grow up', we learn that failures are difficult, heartbreaks are painful, rejection is intolerable, and loss is unbearable. We create boundaries to keep us safe from those things. When we really want something that causes us to go out of our comfort zone - many times, we won't. It isn't because we don't want it, but because we are afraid of what will happen if we don't get it.

It may cost us our pride if we fail, we may cry if it hurts, we may loose some of our confidence if we are told we aren't the 'right one' or 'good enough' and we may have an empty heart if we loose something we really wanted. We decide that the one thing we want isn't worth pursuing because were aren't willing to take the risk of those possible downfalls.

So, I challenge you this week to ask yourself if there is something in your life that you really want, but haven't gone after because you were afraid it? Find strength in being ok with (and even celebrating!) the failure vs. comfort in always staying safe. Safe is good, but for those few things that you really want in your life, stretch, dream big and go out on a limb. The very least you will then be able to say is that you gave it your best shot and you won't ever wonder.

Decide that you want it, more than you are afraid of it. Those who never take risks never get what they really want...

The Champion & The Underdog

2008-10-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

Compete like the champion, train like the underdog.
As funny as it sounds, I saw this quote on the back of a guy's shirt. I am still researching the origination, and will update this blog if I can find the author... For now - I loved it and thought it would be a great concept to think about...

Compete Like The Champion
This advice is good whether you are in a marathon, weight loss program, or just going through your everyday life tasks...

Live your life as if you have prepared your best and there is no reason why you won't come out victorious, in every effort. When you believe you will come out on top, chances are, you will. When you believe you won't, well, chances are, you won't. There is an incredible power to the belief the mind holds.

I think back to a wish I worked on granting for a wishkid that had a rare form of cancer. He had wanted to go to a Dallas Cowboys Football game and despite getting sicker, he was holding out for his game. Every day I went to go visit him, no matter how sick he had become, he told me he was making it to his wish. As he got sicker, the doctors said that he would not be able to travel for the game and we would have to cancel his wish. I promised him we would do our best to bring the Cowboys to him. Shortly after this, he fell into a coma, and the doctors said it would be 'hours'. We let the Cowboys know of his wish and within a day, they had sent a box of gifts and letters. I took the box to the hospital and asked his family to open it, in front of him. Despite him being in a coma, every time they read a letter, his heart rate would increase. We knew he was happy. That evening, my wishkid passed away. He had exceed the doctor's predictions by a few days. I am quite certain, he was waiting for his wish. He believed it would come, and held on until it did. As my mentor, Mr. Larson has always said, 'what the mind and heart believes, the body achieves.' When you want it and believe you can have it, you will.

Train Like The Underdog
What if you knew you were up for a big promotion, but the person you were up against had more experience and qualifications for the job than you did? You would do all you could to put your best foot forward, highlight how your passion is stronger than you competitor's qualifications and you would dive into all you could to better position yourself than your competitor. Consider the Olympic athletes that come into a race, the underdog, and have an absolute upset by winning it all? They trained knowing they would have to bring out more than the person who was expected to win. The person who expected to win, took it for granted and forgot that they too, needed to train as if they were the underdog.

What if you could look at your life 'training' as if you were the underdog? Would you take less for granted and focus more on rising above the things that keep you from achieving what you want? Would you lead with more hope, more focus and more commitment to overcoming your obstacles?

Compete like the champion, train like the underdog. This makes a powerful combination of effort and drive that makes you unstoppable. And we all want to be unstoppable. Perhaps this is one of the secrets to getting all that you want.

How bad do you want it and how much are you willing to work to get it? Anything is possible. It's up to you to believe.

Do It Anyway

2008-10-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

This week's blog is inspired from a sign that hung on a wall in Mother Teresa's office. (see end of blog)

It is easy to let life get us down. When we get hurt by others, we tend to trust less. When we give all we have and 'fail' anyways, we learn not to try so hard. When we go out of our way to help someone, and they end up being ungrateful, we back down from being so generous. When we spend our lives building our homes, our banks, and our sense of being and then a tragedy takes them all away - we feel helpless and broken - afraid to start over again. When we put our hearts 'out there' and they get broken, they become numb and choose to not let themselves be as vulnerable next time.

But - we have two choices each moment. Whenever something comes into our lives we didn't want, expect or ask for - we can choose to let it get the best of us or we can chose to overcome it and let it bring out the best in us. Letting it get the best of us kills our spirit, while letting it bring out the best in us awakens our spirit and allows us to be more fully alive. How powerful would it be to fail, and fail magnificently at that, and yet, smile, and keep moving forward, as if it was just a bump in the road? In other words, if you fall (and we all do!), fall forwards.

I challenge you this week, and each one following - in those times when life is throwing you a curveball, when you feel broken, when you have been hurt, when you have 'failed' - GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY. In doing that - you will overcome the 'stuff' that has weighed you down in the past and you will rise above that 'stuff' to live the life you were meant to live.

Do It Anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered,

LOVE THEM ANYWAY

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives,

DO GOOD ANYWAY

If you are successful, you win false friends and
true enemies,

SUCCEED ANYWAY

The good you do will be forgotten
tomorrow,

DO GOOD ANYWAY

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable,

BE HONEST AND FRANK ANYWAY

What you spent years building may be destroyed overnight,

BUILD ANYWAY

People really need help but may attack you if you help them,

HELP PEOPLE ANYWAY

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth,

GIVE THE WORLD THE BEST YOU'VE GOT ANYWAY.

Two Questions To Ask

2008-09-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

If you've seen 'The Bucket List', you know that it's about two men who have been told they have limited time on earth. They decide to create a list of experiences to complete prior to 'kicking the bucket'. Appropriately, they name this list, 'The Bucket List'.

The men travel to the far ends of the earth, experiencing the finest restaurants, the most beautiful views, racing fancy cars, skydiving... and then they find themselves overlooking the Egyptian Pyramids, discussing life. In their discussion, one of the characters says that 'The Pharaohs believed that in order to enter heaven, a person must affirmatively answer two questions: “Did you find joy in your life?” and “Did your life bring joy to others?”' The two sat in contemplation of those two questions.

I was quite inspired by those two questions. Both of equal importance.

Have you found joy in your life? We spend so much time staring at the door that is closed in our lives that we don't see the ten doors open to us. A wise man, Mr. Larry Larson, recently shared with me, 'you can't miss what you don't have'. But yet, we tend to focus so much of our energy on what we wish we had, who we wish we were and where we hope our lives head. Instead of missing what you don't have, can you find the joy in your own life? Can you be filled with happiness for no apparent reason? Can you wake up and thank your God for a new chance to make the world a better place? Can you find the joy in who you are, right here, right now.

Secondly, did your life bring others joy? Did you do something just for the purpose of making someone smile today? Did you go out of your way to make sure someone else felt special? Have you gone out of your comfort zone, just to pick someone's spirit up? Did you make someone laugh?

I think regardless of your faith, your focus or your goals, these questions are a simple way to pull us back on track in our lives when we are not sure if we are on the right path.

One of the last experiences fulfilled on 'The Bucket List' was to 'laugh until you cry'.

I wish you tears of joy this week as you set forth on living each day fully. If we live each day without expectation of another, we truly would live without regret, would be unafraid to take chances, and wouldn't have to wait for a dramatic experience to see the wonders of the world.

Here's to your journey, and finding the joy.